Page 234 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

‘Wildwane. Is that a shapeshifter?’

‘Typically, yes.’

‘So, what can a Wildwane do?’

‘They can, um…’ Riley looks up, his expression brightening just a fraction. ‘It’s pretty cool, actually. They can shift into different states of physical being. Same matter, same weight, but they can redistribute it at will. If they need speed, they make themselves lighter through the limbs, lengthen their stride, change their lungs and build more fast-twitch muscle. If they need strength, they redistribute the same mass into denser bones, thicker joints and heavier muscle. Bone, muscle, skin, hair, facial structure, hormones, surface colour and texture can all be changed. They can appear taller by narrowing and stretching the body, or shorter by compressing it and carrying the mass differently. One I knew could even mimic animals that were close enough in size.’

‘That is really cool.’

Riley’s expression darkens quickly.

‘But that’s not me. Any time my body tried to blindly use it, the fucking thing would backfire. It’s hideous and painful. It always goes bad for me. I hate it. I’d rip it out if I could. You know Troy locked me in here.’

‘Yeah.’

‘But you don’t know why.’

‘I never wanted to push.’

‘You never did, don’t worry. I don’t know how to tell it. I suppose,’ Riley says, his voice wobbling a little, ‘he locked me up like an animal and I… became one. My stupid fucking body was trying to help sometimes, I think. When I was a kid, my senses started evolving like crazy. I could smell everything within a mile, and I mean everything. I could smell what food was in a man’s stomach and who had fucked who. Then my ears started hearing everything and that was so painful, I thought I was gonna die.

‘But it wasn’t until Troy locked me upstairs with no windows that my body really started changing.’ Riley makes a face, equal parts ashamed and pained. ‘I don’t know why it happened the way it did. I read that captivity forces a kind of adaptation in some animals, and I guess my body was trying to do the same. Surrounded by gross fucking men I could smell and hear non-stop, my body tried to make me into something else.’

When Riley falls quiet, Kade gently asks, ‘That’s… why?’

He’s always known Riley was intersex. Back when it was only the two of them in the ruined Tower, they were together all the time. And he’s always been the guardian of Riley’s secret.

It’s what he thought Rike was alluding to before.

Riley’s breath shudders as it leaves.

He’s shaking.

‘Yeah.’

He studies Kade then, reading him all over, seemingly scouring for any disgust or judgement. Kade gives a small, neutral smile in encouragement.

‘It’s OK, go on.’

‘The change was violent torture. My body felt like it was tearing itself apart from the inside. It literally made a new part of me, and worse, it functioned too. I could feel other changes trying to…’ Riley swallows. ‘Trying to happen, but I learnt that the more I stayed away from the moon, the less powerfully it could manifest. So long as I stay inside and keep control over myself, I can endure it.’

Kade asks, ‘Endure what?’

Riley closes his eyes. ‘Most full moons, I bleed. Not so heavily if I can get a full year of no moon under my belt, but I still get cramps and pain. Then every third moon…’ His mouth twists. ‘Something else happens.’

‘What?’

‘I run hot, like my blood’s boiling. My senses go crazy. I become restless and wild. That part of me starts wanting things.’ Riley forces the words through clenched teeth. ‘Sex, touch, intimacy, all from someone stronger, someone my fucking instincts could bow to.’ He shakes his head, smiling bitterly. ‘It gets so bad I feel like I’m dying because no one is touching me, and if someone actually tries, I want to tear their throat out.’

He stops talking for a minute or so, breaks eye contact to roughly wipe his eyes and stares off to the side as if he can see through the wall.

‘Are you OK?’ Kade checks in gently.

‘Yeah. Sorry. It’s pathetic.’

‘No, it’s not.’

‘This whole thing is so fucking pathetic because that’s what it reduces me to. Some needy, whiny bitch in heat, wanting things I never would. I hate it so much and it’ll never go away, but it’s what I am. I can still hear things no one else can. Heartbeat patterns, lies, deceptions.