Page 149 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

It’s another way for Riley to be self-sufficient in this cage, so of course he’s all for it. What Troy told Riley that night on the roof stays with him forever and gradually, as the months drag on, Riley finds it in himself to force politeness and get some questions answered, although Troy never tells him names, seems worried Riley will find them somehow even though he’s never used a fucking phone in his life, has never touched technology.

He learns that the man who fathered him is extremely rich and powerful, but also highly dangerous. He learns that his brother is, by all accounts, like him but different. Not Wildwane, but not human.

When Riley asks how he knows this, Troy’s answer is always the same.

‘Because the old man still calls me in to clean up his messes.’

‘Have you met him?’ Riley asks. ‘Can I see a picture of him?’

‘No, and no.’

✴

A year passes.

Riley accepts that what he endures are periods.

They come like clockwork every month, always on the full moon.

Riley turns eighteen, having seen no one but Troy for a long time. Troy brings him a chocolate cupcake and a collection of nature books. Riley’s dreams include someone else now.

There’s a little girl with dark curls toddling around, snuggled in his brother’s arms. He sees them both together.

It’s his favourite kind of dream.

Riley’s strength continues to grow as time passes locked away. His reputation as a violent psychopath nurtured by Troy keeps people away.

Another year passes without Riley seeing the sun, only the moon.

Troy never stops trying to learn more about what’s happening to Riley.

He brings book after book, sometimes drops a little bit of something like, ‘Spoke to a scientist, said that stress can cause changes in pre-teens,’ and Riley will stare at him as if to say, no shit, but doesn’t want the slap, so keeps quiet. Beyond the name that he now has for what he is, Wildwane, he’s not interested in learning about himself or embracing any part of what he is when all his body has ever done is betray him.

He hates this skin, hates himself, the bones, the blood, all of it.

Once he knows what it is, that’s enough.

There’s one hideously awkward day when Troy lingers after dropping off his food and Riley waits, already tight with dread.

‘What?’

‘I just wanted to ask…’

‘What?’

‘Do you think you’re gay, or. Not gay. Bi?’

Riley closes his eyes. ‘Please go away.’

‘I’m just asking.’

‘Go away, go away, go away. Please.’

Troy does.

And he mercifully doesn’t ask again.

Riley wonders sometimes if Troy sees things between them differently, like how he enjoyed teaching Riley to shave and sometimes will give him books that aren’t nature or science books, but the Famous Five ones he knows Riley loves. He wonders if Troy thinks there’s anything but hatred in varying shades of civility from Riley’s side.