Page 119 of Eight of Swords, Part Two

‘I think so. Is that right?’

‘Yeah, that’s right. Fuck. OK, so,’ Troy says, sighing heavily. ‘You’re smelling new things. That’s not so bad.’

‘It is. It’s really b-bad.’

‘Because it’s making your head hurt?’

‘Yes.’

‘What would help?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘How about if I get you a book?’

‘A book?’

‘About…’ Troy gestures. ‘Smells and shit. You can figure out what it is you’re smelling and then your mind’ll calm down. Or a diary?’

‘What’s that?’

‘For all your scribblings, except this one’s for writing in.’

‘I don’t think… b-books will… fix this.’

‘I can’t take you to a doctor.’

Riley didn’t expect that he would. ‘I know.’

‘I can get you stronger pills. Nose plugs.’

‘Do you know… what-what’s wrong… with me?’

‘Speak properly.’

Riley swallows a whine. ‘Do you?’

Troy’s quiet for a while. He stares hard at all that nothing.

Then he claps his hands against his thighs decisively. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you,’ he tells Riley, standing to leave. ‘I’ll get you the books.’

✴

The books teach Riley to name the scents that he can make out from his room if he focuses hard enough. They help him label them.

Cedarwood, fir resin, pine pitch, juniper, larch sap, hemlock, spruce, oakmoss, wet bark, lichen, moss rot, forest loam, fern, needle mulch, petrichor, wet stone, rain mud, clay soil, black loam, leaf mould, floodwater silt, cold granite, slate dust, mineral rain, wild mint, sweetgrass, yarrow, elderflower, blackberry leaf, wild chamomile, foxglove, mushroom caps, morel, chanterelle, wet leaves, fungal rot, compost earth, deer musk, elk hide, wet dog, fox musk, coyote fur, feather dust, wood smoke, coal grit, gun oil, hot asphalt, rubber tyres, leather boots, tanned hide, laundry soap, bleach, coffee grounds, butter, salt, meat, molasses, bourbon, whiskey, apple skins, plum rot, cherry pits, charred pine, coal soot, burnt sugar, hot metal, iron filings, rust dust, tar, creosote and men.

Men smell of fear-sour sweat sharp as vinegar, adrenaline heat rising when anger burns like hot copper, the metallic edge of violence before it happens, the wet, herby salt of impatience, the ashy night sweat smudged on skin from bad sleep, the rotten sugar haze of illness, the dull black poison of infection under skin before it’s stung to death by chemical white, the sun-warm haze of healing skin in mellow scents of yellow light and pink clouds, the mineral damp drip of exhaustion, the unripened fruit of bitter jealousy, the acidic hate that sours any source, the cold, watery musk of quiet despair, the bright electric meat sizzle of anticipation, the metallic bubbling anticipation of hunting trouble and the steady grounded wet stone grey scent of calm.

The last one is how Troy smells that summer.

He also reads about scents he has no access to.

Madrone bark, salt spray, sea kelp, driftwood, brine, dried seaweed, tidal mud, oyster shell, barnacle salt, whale oil, ambergris, seal hide, sun-warmed sand, chalk cliffs, coral dust, mangrove mud, salt marsh, dune grass, samphire, sea lavender, eucalyptus bark, sagebrush, desert creosote, cactus bloom, agave sap, red desert dust, sun-baked clay, volcanic ash, pumice, sulphur springs, glacier water, alpine flowers, peat bog, peat smoke, bog myrtle, heather, gorse, bluebell woods, lavender fields, orange blossom, lemon peel, fig leaf, olive leaf, pomegranate skin, coconut husk, banana leaf, mango sap, guava, papaya, passionflower, jasmine, tuberose, gardenia, magnolia, frangipani, ylang-ylang, sandalwood, oud, myrrh, frankincense, patchouli, vetiver, saffron, cardamom pods, tamarind, cacao fruit, green coffee cherries, tea fields, rice paddies, bamboo, lotus mud, water lily, thimbleberry, huckleberry, salal leaf, angelica root, horse sweat, stable straw, camel wool, elephant hide, snakeskin, crocodile musk, warm feathers, beeswax comb, beehive air and rain falling on sand.

He torments himself wondering.

Despite his disappointment at how Troy handled Riley’s confession, the books do help and, no longer flailing to label the information, Riley’s mind calms enough to adjust.