Page 53 of Hearts on the Line

I didn’t realize how much I missed it.

“I’m gonna go for a walk on the beach,” he says. “Want to come?” He fusses with his T-shirt, tugging at its collar. The fabric only clings to his body more, drawing my attention to the tattoos scattered up his forearms.

“Okay.” I stand up, setting down my wineglass, and slip into my sandals.

“Where’d you go? What’d you eat?” I try for casual, but my rapid-fire questions sound forced, even to myself.

He falls into step beside me, his beer still in hand. “Went to this place a few towns over. Her pick.”

“So, not good?”

He chuckles softly. “She was nice enough, just… I’m not interested.”

The tide is rushing in. Water crashes against the shore, but otherwise, it’s quiet. Just the two of us. The moon’s glow washes over the cresting waves. It looks a little like a shattered disco ball.

We slowly walk the empty beach for a few minutes until Ethan spins and faces me, taking a few backward steps.

“What did you order?”

Food seems like a safe enough topic.

“Burger.” He gives me a wry smile. “It was overcooked, and they put way too much barbecue sauce on it.”

“Should have just stayed home.”

“You know Bridget…”

“Do you go on a lot of dates?”

He looks over at me with a crooked grin that just kills me every time. “I’m busy,” he answers diplomatically. “A lot going on.”

I sidestep around him, leading us a little farther before he asks, “Did you date a lot before…”

“Jason? I guess so.”

But the truth is, I’ve never really been in a serious relationship before him. Between college and my dad getting sick, it was easier to hook up with someone or muddle my way through a situationship than commit to a boyfriend. I think I only stayed with Jason so long because it was convenient. I liked knowing someone was waiting when I came back.

“Putting on his ring and pretending I was happy made my mom happy.”

“Were you? Happy, I mean?”

I shrug. “It felt good to check off something on that list.” That’s the easy answer. It was complicated. Still is.

“The list?” Ethan holds the bottle up to his mouth, considering what to say for a moment. “So, what? Graduate high school, go to a nice college, land a good job, pretend owning a house is still on the table, take home a steady paycheck, get married, have kids.”

I nod. “Exactly. You’re looking at me funny. Don’t guys want the same?”

“Yeah. Same list,” he says. “I just don’t care.”

“Nope, don’t buy it.”

“What?” he laughs.

I’m too tired to press further. “I wish I didn’t care. I do though. Maybe a little too much.” I stretch my arms up above me, then slowly spin in the soft, cold sand. “So, the burger…” It feels too dangerous to talk about our dating lives when I can’t stop staring at his mouth.

“A burger?” he echoes.

“Want to head back? You can try to make a better one and brag all about it,” I suggest, teasing.