Page 70 of 72 Hours

​​​Chapter 26 – Thursday 04:10

The low, muttered conversation had been going on for many long minutes. I was too far away to hear all the words, but it felt better for me to have some distance. Occasionally Niall turned towards me, and I could see the sweat on his face and the white of his knuckles where he held the cell phone to his ear. I guessed it was going well, but I had the hideous feeling that I’d only know to the contrary if I heard a God-awful explosion through the radio. Phil was standing close to Niall, offering help when needed. I prayed the radio connection would last long enough to get through the job.

Sheri sat beside me on the couch with a glass of water for me. She was also watching Phil.

“He’s done a good job,” I said, just for something to break the tension. “Are you two dating yet?”

She swung around, a look of surprise on her face. “He asked, but I don’t know... fuck it, Mac, I didn’t tell you, did I? So how come you know that stuff? You drive me nuts. If you hadn’t saved my life, I’d kill you myself right now.”

“Funny kind of gratitude, I must say.” I felt very weary. I was terrified about Brad and Simon, and if I clenched my fists much tighter to keep back the pain from my arm, I’d be through to the bone.

She was peering into my face. “You know why I haven’t said ‘yes’ yet, don’t you? It’s because I’ve been waiting for you.” She had such a refreshing bluntness; I think I was meant to be flattered. “You’re cute, and you’re good to me. I like you. A lot.” She was trying to sound so cool, but she blushed regardless. I hoped Phil was going to be good to her, too, else I’d want to know the reason why. “But you’ve just got me really messed up.”

I knew I’d regret it, but I thought I owed her the discussion anyway. “Why’s that, honey? I never meant to.”

“You and this guy, Niall....” She pushed an escaping lock of red hair back behind her ear and frowned as she concentrated on her words. She looked so confused and so much younger that I wanted to hug her. “Couple of days ago I thought you were an item, even though—let me tell you—I think that’s just the most disgusting waste of two such hot guys, you know? But then there was all that crap you said about him to the terrorist guy....” When she faced me again, her expression was very bleak. “Was that all true? That he treated you like shit and you were glad to turn him over? You were really upset, and then you were fighting, for fuck’s sake. You said you hated each other’s guts, you even offered to kill him. And the look on his face....” She put a comforting hand over mine. “Shit, Mac, there were a couple of times I thought he’d go for your throat!”

I listened to her perceptions of Niall and me from the last hour or so, and I was sobered. I knew I’d sometimes had those thoughts myself, over the past few months alone. The hatred, the anger, the aggression, the resentment. I knew how they felt, deep in the core of me. I’d put passion and sincerity into everything I said to Greg. But I also knew what an actor I was.

I’d never been happier that I could occasionally turn that dubious skill to my advantage.

“It was an act, Sheri,” I said, as gently as I could. “It was something we planned between us. Anything we could think of to unnerve Greg, to unbalance him. I wanted him to despise me, to think me no better than the shit he and his brother had heaped on them in their lives. So that’s what I showed him. I was a failure in my work, suspended from duty. Niall had nothing but contempt for me. He needed to see Niall and me as hostile. Then I could pretend an affinity with him while Niall was the bad guy. He could enjoy the fact we hated each other, rather than banding together against him.”

“The business with the radio?” she asked, in a small, rather sulky voice.

“Niall had it wired up so it shorted the live to the casing. I kept Greg preoccupied, and then Niall pretended we were going to receive an important message. It tempted Greg to touch it first. We knew he’d get a hell of a shock. I just needed him distracted, then we’d overpower him. Though it didn’t work quite as I hoped.”

“I got in the way,” she said.

There was growing distress in her eyes. She’d been through such a lot, and I reckoned she was underestimating the effects of shock. I heard a gasp from the group of people around the radio and was desperate to know what was happening. But Sheri’s hand was still on mine. I think she’d forgotten she put it there.

“No you didn’t,” I said firmly. “You hear me? You helped us. You had a go at him yourself, didn’t you? Hurt yourself, too, which I won’t forgive any of us for. Anyway, we’re friends, and I value that. We sorted him out between us. It’s all over now.”

“Not just with the Greg guy,” she said, her voice very low. “I meant I might have been in the way with Niall too. I’m sorry.”

I smiled. “Look, I think you and Phil will have a lot of fun together. I’m not exactly your dream guy, but I’ve never been that to anyone, so I wouldn’t know what to do to live up to it.”

“You are to him,” she said, and suddenly her face cleared. “To Niall. I mean, he’s a good actor like you, you know? You both had me fooled.” She blushed, embarrassed about it. “But when he wasn’t looking daggers at you, he had a really deep, strange look in his eyes.”

I thought it might have been the anticipation of “mission-mode” that she’d seen. But didn’t I know now that Niall was made up of a whole bunch of other feelings that I’d only scratched the surface of? I was hoping I’d have a good long time to burrow beneath that surface.

“You look stupid,” Sheri said, grinning broadly. “A right dork. If you could see your face... like you’re in love or something. Two guys, sheesh! What a fucking shame.”

“He’s everything to me,” I said. Quite suddenly, it was all very clear to me. “I want him. I need him. I’m not at my best without him. Shit, I’m nowhere near! I want him with me all the hours we can spare; I want to know he needs me in return. I want to come home to him, to know I can talk to him when I need to sort things out, and I can hold him when I need comfort. And I need to know I can do all the same stuff for him. I want to tell him how he makes me feel—that I feel warmer, and richer, and smarter, and sexier.” I grinned, partly in amazement at the strength of my feelings, partly because I’d finally owned up to them. “And you know what? He always made me feel that way, it was always running underneath all the shit and the tension. We just let the crap take over. Fucking shameful. And now he’s done it to me again over these last few days. Woken me up to how pathetic I’ve been, kicked my arse like no one else does, brought all the feelings back.”

The affection. The love. The passion.

The need to roll us both down on to some nearby surface and be fucked by him until my body’s so worn I don’t have the breath to beg or laugh or cry out with pleasure any more.

Sheri’s eyes were wide as she listened to me. I grinned again, suddenly just as embarrassed as she’d been. “I’ll tell you more about it one day.”

“Think you’d better tell him, not me,” she said sharply, but her eyes were sparkling. “Guess he knows already, though. Sheesh. I still say, what a waste.” She slipped quietly off the couch as a man walked over to me. It was Niall. He ran his hand through his hair like he was exhausted, which he probably was. But his face was creased with a triumphant smile. Behind him, I could see Phil and Judith doing high fives and Junk fighting off what looked like the urge to bear hug her. There were excited cries and calls out to the people outside the trailer. We had quite an audience tonight.

“It’s okay,” Niall said, knowing I’d know what he meant. Knowing I’d know he knew I knew—oh, whatever. “We disabled the switch nearest to Simon, and then the bomb unit guys arrived. They seemed to think it was a walk in the park for them to take it from there. They dismantled the whole thing. Simon’s free, and unhurt.”

“Brad?”

“He’s okay. His upper body took a bit of a beating from the initial explosion, but there’s nothing broken. He’s exhausted and a little in shock, so they’ve taken him to hospital. But apparently the both of them were demanding they were taken there together, and they were calling for Judith to authorise early discharge, so they sound like they’ll be back in circulation pretty quickly.” He smiled at me, and it had nothing to do with Simon or Brad or Joe or Judith. “They said thanks to us. To us both. Simon was understandably a bit emotional, but he kept babbling that we made a fine team.”