Page 44 of 72 Hours

Roll that across me again, will you?

“Wait up, Lam. You don’t see Niall as a lover?”

“Tanner, aren’t you listening to me? I’ve no time to waste on coy confusion. No, I am contentedly heterosexual, although I don’t have my sexual preferences tattooed on my forehead, and I may not have broadcast the fact around my friends. One wonders why it should be necessary, to be honest....”

“You’ve got a girl, then?” My face felt like it was twisted in an almost painful mixture of humiliation, amazement and a grin. Sure glad I didn’t have a mirror to hand.

“Tanner.” His sigh was very protracted. “I don’t see the point of gossiping about this like schoolboys, but yes, I do have a current relationship with a woman.”

“So tell me who?” Now I wasn’t asking for anything to do with my past relationship with Niall, I was just damned curious.

“I’m not about to tell you over the telephone, MacKay. It’s obviously a private matter.”

“Neither of you want it to interfere with your professional relationship, eh?”

“Well of course we both consider that the main issue, but I hardly think....” He went silent. “MacKay, forget I said that. I despise your tactics.”

“You won’t be the first.” I grinned. I could guess now who he was dating. There weren’t many women could match the proud perfectionist Joe Lam. And it’d have to be someone who could match him in the dojo as well as the classroom. I cleared my own throat, rather self-consciously. “Guess I’ve been a prize arsehole, haven’t I?” Joe’s silence confirmed it. “Guess I owe you an apology.” And doesn’t that sound feeble.

“None required,” he said sharply. “I never intended that I should be part of the problem, Tanner.”

“I know,” I said grudgingly. “I think you’ll find it was a big pile of other shit, as well, Lam. But I admit my jealousy was no help to the mix.” It was both a symptom and a cause, I thought. My head hurt from too much soul searching at this hour of the morning, and my body was still recovering from the battering it’d taken over the last twenty-four hours. My heart hurt from a regret that was both painful and ingrained.

“MacKay... Tanner? Are you still there? There are some things that I have less inhibition in discussing, though I know you still won’t like it. I wanted you to seek some help after the incident at the club, at the beginning of Mission Dove. I thought that your behaviour had become erratic.” He coughed again. “Even more erratic than usual, that is. There was no pattern or consistency to your reactions. You were obviously distressed by the attack, though all the attention was directed to Niall’s physical injuries and the punishment of the perpetrator. Neither you nor Sutherland would listen to me about it, though, and we were all needed elsewhere. I thought the best I could do was help get Sutherland discharged from hospital and recovered as soon as possible. I thought the rest would settle itself. I never thought to pursue it further, I’m no psychiatrist myself—”

“It’s okay,” I broke in. “I’m good.”

He made a sound suspiciously like a snort. “That day, the day of your... altercation, at the end of the mission. I got to the pair of you as soon as I could, to break you up, but the damage was done by then. Judith couldn’t have condoned such behaviour on duty.”

“Sure. I understand. Own worst enemies, and all that.”

But he didn’t seem satisfied with my continuing self-condemnation, continuing firmly. “You were a good complement to each other, Tanner. I could see that each of you brought out some good traits in the other. It was a... pity to have lost it all. Niall has many regrets about it, I believe. He doesn’t speak easily about personal things.”

“I know.” What fucking inadequate words they were, eh? “But we’ve... sort of cleared the air a bit over the last day or so.”

“You have?” He sounded almost admiring. Definitely surprised.

“You reckon we brought out some good shit in each other?”

He snorted again. “Not quite the words I used, but yes. I’ve neither the skills nor the appetite to analyse your relationship any further.”

I laughed, then. “Never thought I’d be taking lonely hearts advice from you, eh, Lam?”

“Is that how it is?” came his earnest voice. “You have a lonely heart?”

“Fuck’s sake.” I groaned to myself. “It’s just a phrase....”

And then he laughed.

I grinned, wishing he could see it. “Okay, you got me. Joe... look, I appreciate all this. All that stuff about you being concerned about me.”

He made a tutting sound. “I have to go. The consultant’s review is at 06:30. Call me at once with any theories you have about the materials used.”

“Will do. Give my regards to Judith, okay? When she gets there, keep the welcome kisses to a minimum and tell her to call us as soon as she can.”

“I will.” His angry growl crackled down the line. “That crack about the welcome kisses—I expect you to honour the confidentiality of this conversation, MacKay.”

“That’s a given,” I said, almost cheerily. “Go concentrate on getting better, Hopalong.”