Page 42 of 72 Hours

WE SWITCHED THE LIGHT on again, and I held the cell phone while Niall settled himself back on the couch to sleep. “Okay? Need another blanket?”

“No, this is fine. I’m fine.”

“Good. Me too.” That coded conversation again. I leaned over to flip off the lamp again. My eyes blinked, trying to accustom to the sudden darkening.

“You need your sleep, Tanner.” Niall wriggled his shoulders into the lumpy cushions, trying to get comfy. “I’m sorry I kept you awake before. This has all been... very unsettling.”

Too fucking right. I was ashamed of myself, really. Niall had shown a side of himself I’d never seen. He’d shared thoughts I never knew tumbled around inside that coolly controlled brain of his, yet I was still nursing resentment and pain that was doing me no earthly good at all. How come I was meant to have all those people-skills, but I missed so much about the man I was living with?

“I was a prick, Niall.”

He sighed. He’d turned slightly away from me so that I could only see his profile now. “So was I. It was a damned difficult time.”

“No,” I said, firmly. “I was a prick before the attack. Before I met you, really. I’ve never really bothered about looking into myself, about growing up. I just liked a good time, a joke, a thrill.” But I wasn’t as great as I thought I was, was I? “When I met you, I thought it’d all slot into place without any help. Couldn’t understand why you didn’t react the same way as I did.”

He laughed softly. “You’re a rollercoaster, MacKay. A thrill of a ride, and I don’t just mean that in a sexual sense. But you require strong nerves. I don’t always respond as quickly as you do. Or, in fact, as you’d like.”

I still thought he was being too damned kind. “That’s what I mean. Yeah, I handled it fucking badly, but I was right in thinking you and Joe were so much better suited. Much more your type, a much better companion for you. Not as much trouble, right? Easier to get on with.”

“Tanner,” Niall muttered. “God.” He didn’t turn his head to look at me. Was he falling asleep? “I didn’t choose easy when I fell for you. But it’s what I chose, regardless.”

I was a couple of feet away, my body half turned to go back to my room, but suddenly I was frozen to the spot. I stared at him and he rolled back over until he faced me. It was like that first time, you know? When I’d first met him—when my body had shaken with reaction, when my gut had churned with the feelings he ignited in me.

“Niall.” I was hesitant, a little scared, but I knew what I wanted to say. “Come to bed with me. Now. Please.”

We stared at each other some more.

And then he pulled the blanket over him and rolled away from me again. “No.” His voice was very gentle. “You were right to stop me earlier. It’s not fair to use each other when we don’t know what we want. Neither of us would benefit from it... well, apart from the obvious. Damn.” He made a sound of frustration, struggling for those words again.

Personally, I thought his mastery of language so far had been unsurpassed.

“Okay,” I heard myself saying. “Uh... sleep well.” And I made it back to my room without either stumbling or weeping.

Fuck it, I felt like both.

​​​Chapter 17 – Wednesday 05:27

...buzz....

This time it was I who scrabbled for the cell phone when it rang. It was on the floor of my bedroom, and I snatched it up, my tired eyes wincing against the onslaught of the morning sun. For a second, I forgot where I was; I just cupped the cell tightly against my ear in the hopes of not waking Niall beside me.

Then realised he wasn’t. Of course.

“Niall?” someone barked.

“No,” I grunted. “Tanner. And good morning to you, too, Joe Lam.”

He made a growling noise on the other end of the line. “No time for your sarcasm, MacKay. Are you both safe?”

“Yeah.” I was still trying to wake up properly and remember what the hell was going on. “So what’s new with you?”

“I wanted to check something with Niall. I’ve had a chance to finish our analysis of the toxins that were used on Judith. I’ve also examined the debris from the Westbridge bomb to identify the explosives.”

“Dammit.” I groaned. “Aren’t you meant to be post-operative, confined to a hospital bed?”

He grunted. This conversation was decidedly animalistic. “Things are moving on around us, MacKay, regardless of personal irritations. Brad tells me that you’ve been shot, and there’s been the second attack on Judith’s office. It’s critical that we find out who’s doing this and why.”

“Brad’s there with you?”