Page 27 of The Tourist

He turned hishead slightly, though I was too close to see more than his profileand the blurred edge of his eye. “Dan, you’re being toonice.”

I wasn’t surewhether to laugh or protest. “So I should be a shit? I’m justacting normally.”

“No, you’re not.” He sighed and turned back to the window. “Andyou’re not a shit, never have been.” His body relaxed a little, andhe pressed his hand over one of mine. I nudged more closely upagainst him. I only had sweats on and my cock stirred inside them,remembering how he felt without clothes. How we both felt.

“Ricky.” Iblew gently into his ear, and this time I reckoned his shiver was agood thing. “We don’t have to make any decisions about tonight.None at all.” I laughed, though quietly. “We’re on holiday,remember?”

He laughedtoo, shaking his head, though he didn’t pull away. I could feel theconflict inside him, and it wasn’t just about the heat growingbetween us. I wished it were that simple.

“That night,Dan…”

No. It was still too raw for us both.“Forget it, Ricky. It’s all over now. He’s gone.” Calder was on hisway to a long prison sentence, I fucking well hoped so. And if not,I’d make sure he never came near Ricky again. Maybe it’d be saferto move. I wondered what the job situation was like further north,both for me and Ricky. Or maybe somewhere near the sea, likehere.

Somethingtugged inside me, like thread caught on a nail. A visit to thebeach was fine—the occasional trip out in a car—but I’d alwaysfound the thought of moving too far away from London disturbing.Nerve-wracking. But I guessed you never knew what the future wouldbring. Ricky’s security and happiness was the most important thingto consider.

“Damn it,you’re doing it again.” He twisted around in my grip to face me.“You’re thinking it’s all about sheltering me. Like I can’t manage.Like I need twenty-four-hour protection.”

His angerhurt. I hadn’t said anything to make him think I didn’t… what?Trust him to live his own life? But I still remembered the pain andfear that had clung to him outside the bar that night, as Calderand the cops passed us by, as they slammed the door to the cellarshut behind them all…

Ricky had needed me then.

I wasn’t surewhat to do, whether I was doing it right, whatever “it” was. I’dnever felt close to someone like this. It had been like that sinceI first met him—a strange yearning in my gut that was way beyondnerves and lust. But over the last few days, it had grown strongerthan ever. Like we were bound.

I tightened myarms around him and drew him close. I didn’t want us to be bound byCalder, directly or in memory. This had to be about the two of us,nothing more. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to piss you off. I’m justcoping with it, too.”

Ricky tensedagainst me. He dropped his head against my shoulder and I couldn’tsee his face anymore. “Yes. Right.” His voice was hard, muffled.“You’re the tough one, Dan. Coming through that door like some heroto save me.”

“Andyou?”

“Me?”

I took a deepbreath. I ran my hand down his back, slowly and carefully,caressing the bones of his spine, the muscles of his torso. HisT-shirt was thin, and the heat from his body warmed my palm.“Yeah, you, playing his game, holding him at bay until I got there.Keeping cool even when he drew a knife.”

“I was scaredshitless.”

I chuckled,the vibration making his body shake against mine. “I would havebeen, too.”

And I was, inthe past. So said my tourist self, though those memories didn’tlinger, not right now. Instead, fear skittered through me like aswift running man, dodging the old visions, cloaked in the memoryof danger and an adrenaline rush. And perhaps, but only for amoment, the harsh, cruel kiss of rope against skin.

“But you didit, Ricky. Got through it. And you’d do it again,right?”

He pulled backfrom me, the movement sudden and awkward. His bright, startled eyesmet mine. “Face Calder again? What the hell?”

“No, I don’tmean that.” I still held him but I loosened my hands in case hewanted to retreat farther. I watched his outraged gaze fade intoconfusion, willing him to understand what I was really trying tosay. “I mean, you can handle yourself okay. You provedit.”

“Don’t know.”He raised his eyebrows but the anger had ebbed away.“Maybe.”

I kissed him,then. Dipped my head forward and pressed my mouth on his. His lipswere salty, too. They opened immediately and I thrust my tongueinto him. My heartbeat sped up yet again and goose bumps ran overmy skin. His hands tightened on my arms and when a groan escapedhis mouth, it reverberated deep in my belly, the echo spiking hardin my groin.

“Sorry,” hemuttered.

“Nothing tobe sorry for.” God, he tasted so good. I sucked on his lower lip,my teeth grazing his tongue. I wanted to taste so much more of him,my desire thickening like treacle.

“No, I amsorry, Dan. For taking it out on you. You were just…”

I knew he wastrying to speak around my tongue and lips as they played with him,licking him, teasing, showing how much I wanted him. I took mymouth away from his with a slow, reluctant sigh. “Yeah?”

He gazed atme, his pupils dilated, his lips glistening from the kissing.“You’re just trying to look after me, I guess.”