Page 13 of XOXO, Yours

I have shoes and purses and T-shirts older than him.

Okay, that’s probably a lie.

But I probably have something that’s that old.

The point is, he’s a baby.

A giant, broad-shouldered, blue-eyed baby with enormous hands and a smile that keeps doing unfortunate things to my reproductive system.

And my whole body needs to get that memo immediately.

Absolutely not.

Nope.

Whatever tiny spark of interest my vagina has developed in the last half hour is hereby extinguished, doused, salted, and buried in a shallow grave behind the vending machines.

I am a grown-ass thirty-two-year-old woman. I do not lust after twenty-two-year-old boys, especially twenty-two-year-olds whose older brother is involved with my foster sister.

That is a sentence no rational woman should ever have to tell herself sitting in a hospital waiting room.

“You okay?” he asks.

“Perfect.”

“You’ve got that terrifying look again.”

“I told you. It’s my face.”

His mouth twitches, the same small tell from the hallway.

I look away before mine can do the same, fixing my eyes on the double doors at the end of the room, willing them to open, willing someone to walk through them and tell me my sister is fine.

Kid.

He’s a kid.

A giant man-child in a plastic chair too small for him.

I repeat this several times in my head like a chant, like it’ll take if I just say it enough.

It does absolutely nothing to make him less attractive, which is deeply irritating.

My phone buzzes against my thigh. So does Hope’s. We look at each other and dive for them like they’re live grenades.

Cora: We’re okay. BOTH of us.

Cora: Strong heartbeat. Measuring right on track.

Cora: I’ve got low iron and low blood sugar. Apparently crackers are not a food group.

Cora: Oliver knows. Everything. I’ll explain later.

Cora: Also I’m told his ENTIRE family is in the lobby???

Both of us. My eyes burn, but I’m not a crier, so it must be the bleach.

Beside me, Payton’s phone goes off like a slot machine. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz-buzz-buzz. He thumbs it open and goes completely still.