Page 11 of Toren

“There’s not that many.”

“Don’t start lying to me now,” Andrew warned.

Dave studied his face, pupils no longer dilated, cheeks back to their normal olive complexion. It was a look Andrew was familiar with, a calculation he hadn’t seen since his senior year of college.

“I love you,” Dave said in reply, which to Andrew felt as much like a diversion as it did an answer.

He didn’t say it back, instead giving Dave one last kiss before heading back to his car.

Andrew cursed himself under his breath the whole drive home, knowing he’d acted like a coward and was going to make things infinitely worse for all three of them by not breaking things off with Dave before pursuing anything with Toren. But when Andrew got home and got his bags inside, he had a text message from Toren and his heart leapt right into his throat and took up permanent residence there.

The message was a selfie, Toren in the car with the window down and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He had on a pair of dark sunglasses, the reflection of his cell phone visible in the lens.

Toren

Just finished lunch with Riggs and heading home. Still on for later?

Andrew threw his phone onto the bed and angrily unzipped his suitcase, tossing all his dirty clothes into the hamper before backtracking for the shirt he’d worn the night before to the gallery. It smelled like smoke and sweat, like hotel soap and like Toren, and Andrew’s cock twitched with interest.

He stomped into the bathroom and stripped out of his clothes, grimacing at the scent of Dave’s cologne on his shirt and his skin. Andrew turned the water in the shower to a few degrees shy of scalding and stepped under the spray. Slicking his hair back from his face, he rested his forehead against the cool tile wall of the shower and sighed.

It was moments like this when he was jealous of his half-brothers and their relationship. If he’d been closer with any of them, the way they were with each other, he could have asked for help or suggestions about what to do. If he’d been closer with his brothers, they probably would have stopped him from getting back together with Dave. But they weren’t close, and they didn’t know the backstory, so they’d been happy for him when he said he’d started dating someone. His brothers were all paired off so happily, he didn’t think it had occurred to them that he’d do anything less than the same thing.

Even if he did want to ask for advice, how would he even present the situation?

I gave a horrible man a second chance and he’s proven himself to be just as he was the first time around, but I’m too much of a coward to cut him off cleanly. So I’m going to drag it out and make it worse for myself in the end. Do you have a better idea?

God, he was an idiot.

Andrew washed himself, rinsed himself, stayed in the shower until his fingertips were pruned. When he was dry, he went back into the bedroom and picked up his phone. The message from Toren popped up as soon as he swiped off the lock screen and he sat down on the edge of his bed with a sigh.

He texted Finn.

Have you ever done something stupid twice?

Finn replied quickly.

Finn

I think you know I have.

Do I?

Was on the tail end of a bad decision when you taught me how to surf.

TRIED to teach you how to surf.

Finn sent him a middle finger emoji, and then followed it up.

But yes. The same thing twice, expecting a better result and certainly not finding it.

I think I’m there.

Save yourself the struggle.

You know how it’s going to end.

You’re right. Thanks.