Page 56 of Dark Notes, Volume Two

He takes a deep breath and I know it’s about to get worse, so I grip the door handle, bracing myself for the impact of his next words.

“She was hit by a semi truck and shoved into a guard rail on the other side of the highway.”

I can hear the worry in his voice but I’m not sure if it’s about his wife’s best friend or if he’s worried about me relapsing.

“A piece from the truck went through her broken window and pierced her chest. It’s bad, Jett. I’m not going to pretend it isn’t. They had to use the jaws of life to get her out.”

I press my palms against my eyes, to control the tears that want to come out. I don’t fucking cry.

“I should’ve been with her. If I weren’t a goddamn junkie, I would’ve been. Hell, if I hadn’t asked her to come last night she’d be at home in bed still.”

Jagger holds his hand up.

“Stop that shit, now. This is not your fault. A lot of things can be blamed on you, but not this.”

I punch the car door with everything I have.

“Fuck!” I yell because I can’t fucking do this. Not without her.

“Are you done now? You need to get your shit together or they will not let you in to see her. They are very fucking serious in the ICU.”

I have no idea why I’m surprised that she’s in the ICU, it’s obvious given her injuries and the fact that she’s in a coma. My brain simply had not gone there yet.

“Tell me you’re not going to make a call while we’re in there and use.” Jagger pleads. I’ve put him through hell and I know it.

I shake my head and know without a doubt I’m being truthful.

“I’m not going to fucking use.”

As long as there’s even the slightest chance for her survival, I won’t dare do the one thing that would make me lose her. If she’s gone though, that’s it. I have nothing left to live for. I’d rather be with my angel in the afterlife than to sit here in agony. That’s what life without her would be, the purest hell I’ve ever known. The majority of my life has been fucked. Mia was the first good thing in my life outside of the band. It’s her or death, plain or simple. Call me dramatic, I don’t fucking care. If there’s no Mia, there’s no Jett.

23

Chapter Forty

JETT

The sight of her lying in this hospital bed, hooked up to machines, looking lifeless is even worse than hearing the details of her injuries. As Jagger said, her face is wrapped up in some kind of material that looks like layers of gauze. Peeking through the hospital gown, I see more of the same fabric on her chest. The machine beeps, I assume either keeping her heart beating or just monitoring it. I choose for the moment to believe it’s just a monitor because I’m not sure I can handle knowing more than that right now.

I move closer to her bed as the nurse nods to us and walks out the room.

“Angel.” I say, my voice thick with emotion as I reluctantly touch her hand. I am afraid to hurt her worse. Mia’s other hand is bandaged up, but this one doesn’t look as bad.

Jagger brings over a chair.

“Sit down, man. We both know you’re going to be here until they kick you out.”

I shake my head and take a seat.

“They can fucking try.”

He chuckles low.

“I knew you’d leave. I told your therapist that before I came in. I told him there was no way you’d stay if Mia needed you.”

Jagger isn’t wrong. There is nothing that would keep me from being here.

“Alright, man. My wife is at home falling apart. She was here all night until I forced her to go home to rest. Call me if you need me.”