Page 13 of The Honor Society

I can deal with everything else later.

Maybe.

My stomach growls.

I touch the button for the fourth floor, his new room now that he’s not in ICU anymore.

Nerves attack my stomach before I can tell my brain to stop sending the wrong signals as the doors open and I make my way towards Axel’s room.

I knock on the door even though it’s half open and let myself in.

Axel’s not wearing jeans.

That’s the first thing I notice.

He’s in black trousers, a grey sweater, and putting on an expensive ass watch. I know he comes from money, I just never really went there in my head. But seeing him put on the watch does something to me. I’ve never been to his parents’ house. I’ve never asked what his dad does. Axel says he identifies with onions the most like in Shrek, he likes to allow others to peel him back.

At the time it was charming.

Now, I’m a bit alarmed.

“Hey,” I hold up the bag of food. “Thought you would be hungry.”

He doesn’t look up. “Where’s Jude and Lilah?”

“Fighting.” I ignore the stab in my gut, normally he would hug me, at least smile at me, react in some way. This version of Axel? I’m not familiar with him. And I hate it. I hate that I hurt us, but I had no choice. If I didn’t shoot, someone else would have. I wonder if he understands how deep I am, and how bad it really is. Would he be more forgiving if I told him I shot him to save his life?

Probably not.

“Ah, yeah that checks out.” He winces and stretches out his hand. It’s wrapped up in white gauze.

I walk over to him and reach for his hand when he shies away from me. “What did you do?”

“Arts and crafts.” He flashes me a smile. “Things got hella intense with the scissors.”

“I’m serious.”

“I never joke about art, Charlie.” He doesn’t want me touching him, does he? Maybe it’s this inner perseverance or alarm bell going off saying ‘yo she shot you, so maybe don’t let her touch you or get close.’

Would I blame his brain for putting me in default mode as danger? No, it still hurts though. I’ve never loved a person the way I love Axel. I’ve never loved someone so much that I question everything about the life I’ve lived up until them, and wonder how it could possibly get better when every day it does. He’s funny. He’s thoughtful. He’s loving. He’s protective, a bit too afraid of spiders and insects but who isn’t? I’m also pretty sure he can’t throw a punch to save his life despite being super fit.

He used to say he loves hard, that he let’s others entertain with the fighting and that it’s not worth the black eye that follows or the pain the next morning. I joked that it showed he put every effort into being a lover not a fighter. He loved well. With his whole body and soul. He loved like it was his last time even when it was our first.

The silence stretches between us, tension builds. He still hasn’t taken the food. “I’ll, uh, drive you back to your place since you’ve been discharged.”

He scoffs. “More like I told them, I’m not watching Jeopardy one more damn minute, Charlie. I’ve outgrown it, I’m smarter than all of them and where’s my money? You know how mentally exhausting it is to be the smartest man in a room all by yourself? Without anyone to brag to? Fucking sucks, buttercup.”

I jerk my head in his direction. My nickname. “You remember?”

He frowns. “I guess, have I always called you that? Huh, name my favorite candy after my favorite,” he tilts his head and licks his lips. “Taste? Or something like that?”

Heat rushes to my face. “Well, you’ve still got the same sense of humor and ability to make me blush.”

“Remind me,” he takes a step toward me. “Do you blush everywhere, Charlie?”

The food drops out of my hands onto the ground. “Shit.” I quickly pick it up, thankful that nothing spilled out of the boxes into the bags.

“Guess that’s a yes.” He winks. His phone starts going off in his hand. He rolls his eyes and ignores the call.