Page 34 of The Rancher’s One and Only

It wasn’t really. He gave her some brief instructions on how to get the horse to move, and then he mounted his own animal, and led the way away from the barn. “We’ll take a trail that goes up the mountain. You’ll get a good view of everything from there.”

“Have you ever found sun stones?”

He shook his head. “No. They have them in a lot of the gift shops around here.”

“Yes. It’s one of the few places that you can find them. They’re really beautiful.”

“Do you know how to look for them?”

“Yes. I hunt gemstones in my off days a lot of the time.”

“Well, that would be fun.”

“It would be,” she said, feeling very affirmed. “I have a question,” she said as they got onto the trail. “Why do men treat you meanly when they want to have sex with you?”

He whipped his head around to look at her, the expression on his face startled. “Do they?”

“Yes,” she said. “And I don’t really understand it. Because why is that supposed to make somebody want to sleep with you?”

“I… Listen, I think some men do that because they enjoy making a woman feel insecure. And they think that if she’s insecure enough she’ll think that he’s her only choice.”

It was weird, because she sort of had felt that way about Gavin. Both like he was her only choice and like he wasn’t a choice at all, and never could be. It hadn’t worked, if only because she really had a firm stance on infidelity, but she could see other ways and places that it might have. Particularly given her inexperience.

“That’s so diabolical,” she said.

“Yeah. Men are complicated, but they can definitely be diabolical. If you think about it, even with Haley, right? She wouldn’t go trading favors if those favors weren’t able to be traded. Men make it a currency. Women just spend it.”

“Well yes, that is very true,” she said.

“Why are you asking me these questions?”

“You’re a man. I’ve never actually met one who seemed like he was open to talking about this.”

“Oh. Well, I like your questions.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re interesting. Not the kind of questions most people ask.”

“Oh.” That was a little bit deflating, because yet again, she was reminded that she was different. She didn’t think about it all the time anymore. But he made her think about it. Because he was new to her, because he was a completely different sort of person. Because he made her think about things that she hadn’t thought about for a long time.

“There was this… A teacher. On one of my digs. I thought we might have something, and then I found that he was married. And so I was content to just find him attractive. But then he made a pass at me. And when I refused him he made the rest of the dig miserable. And I swear it was almost like he thought by being mean to me he could eventually get me into bed.”

“Well, that is somewhere beyond male-female dynamics, Ernestine. A teacher shouldn’t be doing that to you. How old were you?”

“Twenty? Nineteen, maybe.” She knew how old she was. It just felt absurd and young to talk about now. At the time she felt grown-up. And like she could handle all of it. Now she sort of looked back and felt sorry for herself. Poor Ernestine who thought a normal, handsome man had liked her, when in reality it was sort of more abuse, infidelity and wanting to take advantage of someone who seemed like an easy target.

She felt woeful for that version of herself. Honestly.

“Does he still have a job?”

“Oh yes. He’s very well respected.”

“He shouldn’t be,” he said. “He should not be respected, because it sounds like he sucks.”

“I agree,” she said. “He does suck. Well, I assume he still does. I haven’t seen him in a very long time.”

“I hope you never see him again.”