Page 145 of The Unravelings

“For what?” he breathes.

“Lying in bed with you all. Having you to help me recover…” I trail off, rolling my lips together. Explaining my recovery to him would be a massive line to step over. It would reveal where I went after I left here. Who I trained with. Even if most people don’t know Veritas exists.

Those brown eyes pop open as soon as the words leave my lips, and he stares down at me with confusion swirling in the depths. The same eyes I got lost in as a teenager. They pull me in and hypnotize me, loosening every muscle.

“Spitfire,” he murmurs, cupping my jaw with his hand and letting his thumb gently rub along my cheek and down toward my neck. He feels his way gently across the scar lining my throat and moves my head to reveal all the burn marks on the left side of my face. I hold my breath when his fingers trace them, and he shudders, an agonized groan falling from his throat. “You never should have been left alone there,” he chokes up. “One of us should have stayed with you or…”

“You didn’t know,” I rush out, staring up at the ceiling with a burning behind my eyes, refusing to turn my face and fall back into his gaze. “Besides, Franco would have had your asses if you disobeyed him.”

Even now, I’m sure stepping out of line gets them into major trouble. They’re the heirs of his empire. He’s been grooming them to step up and take over every inch of his organization so they can lead whenever he’s gone.

“No,” he whispers, bringing my gaze back to his and cupping my jaw again. “We didn’t know what was going to happen. We thought it was a routine run to the casino. If we had any inclination that something bad was going to happen, we wouldn’t have left.” Tears swim in his eyes, threatening to fall. “We would have stayed by your side or snuck you with us into the SUV. That’s what we should have done.” Heavy emotions weigh down his face. “What happened to you after?” he whispers, keeping my gaze locked on him. “Where did you go?” he begs.

My heart jumps in my chest, thumping loudly in my ears. Jonathan’s cruel words from before echo in my mind. Use this to your advantage. Use JJ’s emotions against him to get under his skin and gain his sympathy.

I blink several times, willing the tears to go the fuck away. All I do now is wallow in my own fucking emotions and cry when I haven’t done that in so long.

“I woke up in a hospital,” I whisper as he clings to me more, pulling my body impossibly close to his and forcing my gaze to stay connected to him. There’s an invisible tether holding JJ and me close right now. It’s weak, but it’s rebuilding something we once had. “I don’t know who saved me.”

And that’s not a lie. Jonathan swears it was him. But sometimes, I think this entire situation is turned on its head, and someone is lying to me.

Them? Jonathan? I don’t know anymore.

“I don’t know how I got out. God, the last thing I remember is feeling the flames eat away at me as I died in a pool of my own blood.” I’ve thought about it so many times; it doesn’t faze me anymore. But by the choked sound JJ gives me, I know I’ve said something to tear his heart out and stomp on it. But if I don’t finish what I’m saying, I’ll never get it out. I’ll throw it back into a vault and never revisit it again. “I woke up with bandages on my wounds and an oxygen mask on my face. I could barely move. I…” This was it. This was the moment I either veered into a massive lie, or I steered the conversation into the truth. “My uncle Jonathan was there.”

“Jonathan Viotto?” JJ whispers in a broken voice, sniffling.

“How…” I start to say.

“Surveillance footage. Hotel records…” He trails off, using his bare shoulder to wipe away the moisture building on his cheeks. “So, your uncle took you after the fire and…”

“Trained me. Fed me. Healed me,” I whisper.

JJ licks his lips as his Adam’s apple bobs. “Trained you?” he asks.

I search the depths of his brown eyes. “When I get the results back from the video footage you sent me…”

“I’ll send you more,” he interrupts quickly. “I have more to show you. I know I do. I have GPS from the SUV. I have paid toll pictures. I have a lot more. When I can track it down,” he huffs with determination, taking over his face. “I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust. I’ll get on my knees and beg. I’ll walk through fucking fire for you. We all would. Just to have you back with us. Like this. In our lives. We love you, Olivia Viotto. That’s never changed.”

“You aren’t going to tell them, are you?” I ask, swallowing hard.

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “You are.”

I stiffen. “Me?”

I can barely wrap my head around JJ knowing who I am under my Oliver disguise. But them, too? What will they say? Do? Feel? Fuck. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. I need more time to figure out what the hell is going on here and if I can truly trust them with my biggest secret.

“Yes,” he whispers, leaning in and putting his forehead against mine. “You’re going to tell them soon, Spitfire. Because this secret I’m keeping is eating me fucking alive. Huxley looks at me like I’m hiding something from him. Something big. And it’s killing me,” he chokes out. “It’s killing me to keep you a secret from the two other people who I know care about you.” He squeezes his eyes shut and blows out a breath. “After the initiations, Livy. You have to… You can’t keep this from them.”

Yes, I can.

But I don’t say that. Because everything inside me is twisting into knots at the prospect of them knowing I’m still alive. So far, I’ve been lucky that JJ has kept my secret.

“What if I don’t?” I test the waters, stiffening when he stares deep into my eyes, holding me prisoner in his grip.

“Then I’ll tell them everything,” he threatens. “If you’re going to live under our roof and be our pledge, they need to know. Y-you don’t really know what you’re signing up for, do you?”

No. “I know enough,” I say confidently, even though I don’t feel it.