Page 97 of Tempting My Mafia Monster

“We won’t. He just needs a minute.”

I crouched, banging the journal against my head. Get your shite together, Maddox.

Hazel eyes. Hazel fucking eyes haunted me. Sean’s face appeared, that smug smile. Before I could stop myself, I punched the wall.

“Mate, calm down. You can’t do that here. You’ll get yourself arrested.” Nolan was careful not to touch me. At that moment, I was grateful to him. He knew how to handle me. Knew my triggers. “What are you thinkin’?”

“I can’t do it. I can’t go to Mexico. I can’t go to fuckin’ Australia. Look at me,” I gritted through clenched teeth. “I can’t even function.”

“Okay, what do you need?” Nolan asked calmly.

I looked up at Riley, knowing I was about to break her heart. “He has to die,” I growled. Her eyes filled with tears. “I can’t move on until they’re all dead.”

Riley dropped to her knees and grabbed my face. I clenched my jaw at the unexpected contact, but it turned out my darkness had its limits. I’d never hurt my family.

“Please come with me, Maddox. If you don’t, I’ll never see you again. They’ll kill you. You can’t take Sean on alone.”

I swallowed, knowing that was true. I couldn’t do this alone.

“I won’t.” I pulled her into a tight hug as she sobbed. Peering up at Nolan over her shoulder, I warned, “Keep her safe and make her happy. If anythin’ happens to her, I will come for you.”

He nodded. “I know. I’ve got her. You don’t need to worry.”

I stood up, pushing Riley towards him, and grabbed my bag off the floor. “I’ll find you. When it’s over, I’ll find you.”

She pressed her lips together and nodded, though I knew she didn’t believe me. She quickly opened her bag, grabbed some wads of euros, and shoved them into my chest.

“I don’t need your money, Riley. You keep it. I’ll find a way to make some.”

“You’ll need it for a flight back to Ireland, you eejit.”

My lips curved, and I stepped forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She sobbed at the first rare affection I’d offered her.

“I’m not goin’ to Ireland,” I said, stepping back and meeting Nolan’s knowing gaze. “I’m goin’ to Italy.”

Distractions

“Were you not hungry, Raya?” Olivia asked as the staff walked around the table to clear the plates. I glanced down at the food in front of me and only just noticed I’d pushed one half to the side again and left it there.

“Not really,” I said, forcing a pathetic excuse for a smile to stop her worry from escalating. “I had a big lunch.”

Liv and Gio exchanged a look. They knew it was a lie, and I knew they were concerned about my new eating habits. Despite what they may think, I wasn’t starving myself.

“I’ve been used to eating only half portions,” I muttered.

“What was that?” Gio asked from his seat at the head of the table. I looked up at him and swallowed.

“Food. In the bunker. I had to share my meals with another captive. More like he had to share his with me. Or I’d have starved.”

A loaded silence hung in the room. I met Liliana’s gaze across the table, and she gave me a sad smile. It was the first time I’d offered them anything about my experience in Ireland. Gio waited until all the staff had left before clearing his throat and leaning back in his chair.

“Sean kept you and this other prisoner together?” he asked carefully, staring at me as he raised his hand to rub his jaw. “A male prisoner?”

My heart picked up speed. I hadn’t found the right moment to tell any more of my family about Maddox, and to be honest, part of me didn’t want to. What would be the point? It wouldn’t change anything now. Keeping him to myself felt safer, like a way of protecting what we had.

Alessio and Elle had gone back to Sicily last week. Sani had finally been convinced to return to Rome for a few days, though Aria stayed here with us because we’d finally received confirmation that Sean was alive. Max and Fabi had tortured it out of a low-ranking McKenna soldier in Ireland, though that’s all the soldier knew. Not Sean’s whereabouts.

The fact that he was still alive had sent me to a dark place. But I’d turned that darkness into determination. I’d spent the past two days studying maps of Dublin, trying to work out where the Moriarty farm and bunkers had been, and then correlating the distances with the time I’d spent in cars when Sean had taken me to other locations. I knew it was unlikely that Sean would hide in any of them, but I still showed Gio, who sent it to Max so they could scout those areas first.