Page 74 of Tempting My Mafia Monster

I swallowed. “Sean likes games.”

She frowned at me. “Si. How did you know that?”

Either my siblings had kept my kidnapping secret from her, or she hadn’t remembered the past few weeks. Either way, I wasn’t about to get into it now and upset her.

“Gio said.”

“Oh.” She didn’t look convinced, but she continued. “Si. He kept them all drugged and bound in their own house, torturing the soldiers until they gave up their family members, raping the women, and throwing raging parties, trashing the entire house and all their possessions.”

“Didn’t anyone know what was happening or try to help?”

“The Moriarty home was very remote. They actually owned a farm. That was their legal front business.”

My stomach dropped. The old, abandoned farmhouse in the distance, from the underground bunkers. The wishing well. The slaughterhouse. The wooded area at the back. Sean built the bunkers on Moriarty’s land and kept their son there to torment him. Maddox had never left his home.

“Then he took all Moriarty’s men into the wood and tied their ankles together with rope,” Mamma continued. “He told them to run, then let his men hunt them for sport.”

I couldn’t speak because I somehow knew it was about to get worse.

“Sean forced any survivors in front of Cillian and made him choose between putting bullets in his men’s heads, many of his brothers, nephews and friends, or his wife. He chose to save his wife every time. Until Sean changed the game. He made Sean choose between his wife and his children. Cara begged him to save the children.”

I swallowed. “And he did.”

Mamma nodded. “It was all for nothing. Sean killed all his children and Cillian. He was never going to let a Moriarty live.”

I froze, my eyes wide. They were the lies Sean spread. “That’s not true, though, Mamma. Maddox, Cillian’s eldest son, ‌survived that night. All the children did.”

“What?”

“I–” I wished I could tell her everything. But I didn’t want to upset her or cause this perfect lucidity to melt away when the stress or worry triggered her. “I met him. Maddox Moriarty. I–”

I burst into tears. So much for not worrying her. She threw her arms around me and pulled me into her chest. “Oh, tesoro. You loved him. And he’s gone.”

“How do you know?” I blubbered into her silk top.

“Because I know grief well, my sweet girl.”

She squeezed me tighter. I could feel her confusion, but I couldn’t stop crying enough to explain myself. So she just held me, stroked my hair and shushed me.

“To give someone your heart is one of life’s greatest joys, but also the deepest reminder that love is never yours to keep.”

I cried harder. “It hurts, Mamma. Tell me it doesn’t always hurt like this.”

“I cannot.” She reached for my hand. “But grief is just the purity of love with nowhere left to go. You will learn to carry it differently. And one day, you will smile again without it feeling like a betrayal.”

“How?”

“One breath. One day at a time.”

“I hate that advice.”

She laughed, but it was full of sorrow. “So do I.”

She held me for a while, stroking my hair as I listened to her steady heartbeat. It was the closest I had ever felt to her. I had a deeper understanding of her now.

“I think you’d have liked him, Mamma.”

Her hand stopped moving through my curls. “Who?”