Page 56 of Tempting My Mafia Monster

“P-please,” I whispered, my voice thick with desperation and a sob I couldn’t hold back. “Please don’t do this. Don’t fight him.”

His jaw tightened as he closed his eyes and his hands curled into fists. “Don’t beg,” he growled, his voice low and strained. “Don’t cry. Or I’ll fuckin’ leave. You know what it does to me.”

Anger and pain raged through my veins. I gripped the back of the chair so hard that the wood bit into my palms, and I held on tighter to keep myself composed, to hold on to the last thread of myself that wasn’t completely unravelling. What about my triggers? What about my feelings? Yes, I knew he didn’t trust himself. But I did. I trusted him. He wasn’t the uncontrollable, unfeeling monster Sean had made him believe he was.

“Don’t beg for my brother’s life?” I waited until he opened his eyes, though he kept them glued on the floor and took another drag. “Are you seriously telling me not to beg for my brother’s life? Not to feel anything about the fact that the two people I care most about in the world are going to try to murder each other tonight?” My voice cracked. “What do you expect from me, Monster? What do you expect me to say?”

He didn’t answer. He kept on smoking. He was deep in his darkness. I had no idea how to remind him of the man he truly was, but I knew I had to try.

I pushed back from the chair and crossed the bunker toward him. He was on his feet before I’d taken three steps, putting more distance between us. That broke something inside me as I stared at his back, facing a wall.

“Don’t do this,” I whispered. “You’re breaking my heart.”

His shoulders tensed. “You sound surprised.” He turned and leaned his back against the wall, lifting his cigarette to his lips. “As if I’d know how to do anything else with it.”

He didn’t mean that.

His black eyes found mine across the room, and in them I saw everything he refused to say. The war in his heart. The exhaustion. The grief that had taken hold of the last remaining part of him he’d tried to protect from Sean.

“You know this world better than anyone, Raya. The mafia is fed by blood, money and power. Retaliation is the only respect it knows. Your family owes me a blood debt. A life for a life. Your brother killed mine. So I’ll kill him.”

“And then what?” My voice came out steadier than I felt. “What do you think will happen to us if you kill my brother? I’ll never forgive you.”

He scoffed, and that uncaring noise made my knees buckle. I dropped onto the bed.

“So you expect me to let it go? Is that what this is about?” he asked, head tilted. “Forgiveness? Who should forgive who? You won’t forgive me, yet you think I should forgive your family for all they’ve done to mine?”

“What happened with Callum was compli—”

“Connor,” he snapped, stubbing the cigarette out on the wall by his hip. “My brother’s name was fuckin’ Connor.”

I swallowed and pulled my knees up to my chest. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what happened to Connor. If we’d known the circumstances, my family would never have—”

“Beaten and starved him?” His lethal gaze pinned me to the spot. “Broke his bones? Stabbed him? Cut off his toes? Sliced his eyelids off?” Each word landed on my shoulders, heavier than the last. “Or put a bullet in his brain? Where, exactly, would their mercy have begun?”

I let out a shaky breath. “He crossed my family. He tried to kidnap my brother’s wife. He hurt her father and framed my brother for it. He killed Aria’s mum. But Sani didn’t kill him. It was Connor who—” I stopped and looked down at my knees. “He shot himself.”

“And that makes it better?” The coldness shattered. His voice rose from a place of pure, gut-wrenching grief and fury. “Have you any idea what it would take to drive a man to that point because he knew how it would end if he didn’t? He pulled the trigger to give himself a merciful death. Somethin’ your brother was refusin’ to do. So don’t you fuckin’ dare lie to me and tell me they planned to let him go, because we both know that was never an option.”

My lips parted, then closed again as he glared at me. I shook my head slowly as more tears fell. “No b-but we thought he was working for a rival mafia family. We—”

“He was! To save me!”

He moved, and I heard the impact of the chair before I saw it. The crack of wood as it hit the far wall and splintered into pieces. I didn’t flinch. Not even when he stormed towards me, leaned over me, placed his hands on the mattress on either side of my hips, and forced me back against the wall.

“I gave up everythin’,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper that somehow felt more devastating than shouting. “My life. My freedom. What was left of my fuckin’ soul to keep him alive. I’ve suffered a lifetime of abuse so he wouldn’t have to. I’ve been tortured, drugged, conditioned to kill on impulse, and caged like an animal all my fuckin’ life so he could live his. And your brother made sure every minute of it was for nothin’. So you do not get to beg for his life or my forgiveness. I have none to fuckin’ give. I will show your brother the same amount of mercy he showed mine.”

I reached for his face instinctively, needing to comfort him, but he jerked back as if my touch had burned him. He stared down at me, nostrils flared and eyes shimmering like black coals. Then he stormed into the bathroom, and I scrambled off the bed to follow him.

He was hunched over the sink, his fists clenched, staring at the running water when I reached the doorway.

“I’m not going to let you kill my brother,” I said, emotion tightening around the words I was forcing out. “I’m so sorry about Connor. I truly am. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. With everything I have, I mean that. But this wasn’t all on Santino. Sean set this up. Sean sent Connor to Italy, knowing the risks. It was always a win-win for him. Either Connor succeeded and came back with Aria, or this happened. He wanted you exactly here, like this, ready to tear everything down with your bare hands. For his own sick enjoyment. He’s trying to break you, Monster, and it’s working. Please don’t let him use you like this.”

“You wanted me to fight for my freedom.” He turned and met my teary gaze. “You got your wish. Tonight, I’ll win the fight and walk away a free man. I’ll find my sister and get you both as far from him as possible. Then I’ll come back and kill the bastard myself.”

“He will never let you go,” I breathed. “He knows what you’ll do the second you’re free. He knows you’ll come back. This whole thing is designed to—”

“He wants an alliance with the Russians more than he wants me. If he wins, your family can’t retaliate against him as part of the deal, or they’ll go to war with the Bratva and McKenna. But they can come after me. He knows you’ll hate me, but I won’t let you go. Your family will want me dead to save you from me. He’ll expect them to get to me before I have a chance to get to him. He’ll go into hidin’ until I’m dead. He’s done it before with his enemies. I know how his mind works. He’s always underestimated me. But this time, he won’t get to do it again.”