Page 34 of The Titan and the Trainer

Callum collapsed onto his couch, his mind racing through the next week. He didn't know how he was going to focus on squats and sprints when his soul was ten stories up, tangled in the five-hundred-thread-count satin sheets of a penthouse that he hoped would soon feel less like a mausoleum.

***

The sun was just beginning to burn through the morning mist over Fort Greene Park as the city awoke.

Callum was a bundle of high-energy, his voice slightly hoarse from motivating a group of twelve through a final set of mountain climbers. He looked a mess, soaked in sweat, muddy, wet, his white vest top clinging annoyingly to his back. Normally this would dampen his mood, but his mind was still pondering a hazy, golden replay loop of the events of the day and the night before.

Callum walked behind the group as they began to disperse, grabbing their yoga mats and water bottles. A flash of something out of place caught Callum’s eye.

Parked near the curb, away from the joggers’ beat-up sedans, was a very sleek black car. For a fleeting moment, Callum thought it was the heavy G-Wagon, but it wasn’t. This was just an understated town car. As he walked towards it, the door opened, and Julian stepped out.

He was already in his Titan armour, a charcoal-grey suit, crisp white shirt, and a purple-patterned silk tie. He looked like he had just stepped off the cover of Forbes magazine, a sharp contrast to the damp grass, dishevelled moms, and the mud of the park. He looked so handsome; Callum’s heart did a hot somersault.

He shouldn't have been there. It was a massive risk. But as he walked toward the edge of the clearing, he didn’t look like he cared one bit.

“Great work today, guys! See you Wednesday!” Callum called out to his class, waving them off, eyes never leaving Julian.

Once the last client wandered off, Julian stopped a few feet away. He didn't touch Callum, he couldn't, not here. But the way his eyes raked over Callum’s sweaty frame was almost as intimate as one of his long kisses.

“You're insane,” Callum hissed, stepping into the shade of a large tree to get them out of the open space. “What are you doing in Brooklyn at 6:30 a.m.?”

“I just couldn't wait to see you,” Julian said, his voice low and private. “I woke up in that apartment and the silence was unbearable. I missed you, and I wanted to see you. I needed to make sure you were real and not just something I dreamt up in the dark. Markus told me you seemed a little upset in the car on the way home. I wanted to check everything was okay after last night?”

“Oh that, that was nothing. Just my emotions getting the better of me, that’s all.”

Julian still wasn’t buying it and wanted more, “Good emotions, bad emotions?” His face was dark with worry.

“Stop stressing, you idiot. Happy as hell emotions, if you really need to know.”

“Wow, okay, that’s good. No, that’s really good to hear.” Julian stumbled over his words, unusually clumsy.

OK, big breath Callum. I’m going to tell him what I’m thinking. I’m going to be honest. “I’m going to say this now, but I won’t keep saying it, okay.”

“Yes, understood,” replied Julian, hanging on Callum’s next words.

“I am a very emotional person, Julian. I will freak out about ‘this’, ‘you’, ‘me’, and ‘us’. I’ve never had what I regard as a serious relationship. This,” and he gesticulated between them, “is completely new ground for me. The way I feel about you…” At this point his voice broke with emotion. Damn.

Despite desperately trying not to, tears welled in his eyes, caused by saying out loud feelings he typically kept inside. He tried the sentence again.

“The way I feel about you, I’ve never felt about any previous person, whether it was just a shag, a short-term boyfriend, or a potential long-term partner. I’m trying to process these feelings and emotions as best I can, but now and then I will question them, doubt myself, doubt you,” and he pointed at Julian’s chest, “and what’s going on in there, in the beating heart of the Titan.”

He got the words out; it was a relief. He wiped his eyes.

Julian nodded, and Callum noticed that his eyes were also glistening, those brilliant green eyes. Julian was balling and unballing his fists. He seemed pent up, like he was about to explode. Callum hadn’t meant to upset him. He so wanted to just hug him right there, but he was filthy, and he was not getting any closer.

“Man, I really want to hug you and kiss you so much right now, but I can’t,” Julian said, frustration clear in his voice.

“I know, I get it. Me too, but look at the state of me, versus the perfection of you,” gesturing at Julian’s impeccable appearance.

“I understand the feelings and the doubts, Cal. Just promise me one thing, though: that you will always tell me about it, OK? I’ve denied emotion as a luxury I didn’t require for most of my life, but I’m already finding with you I’m able to say and feel more than I ever have. Tell me if I get it wrong, ok? Don’t hold back; I can take it. I’m a big man.” With that, he drew himself to his full height and made a muscle-guy pose.

This had the desired effect and lightened the moment. They both laughed. Callum was reminded just how large Julian was, a flutter in his heart.

Callum wiped sweat from his forehead. “I’m covered in park dirt and sweat, Julian. You’re going to get your dry-cleaning bill through the roof just from standing near me.”

“Oh, you think I care about the suit,” Julian said, his gaze softening, the corporate mask slipping for a split second. “I just wanted to say good morning to my boyfriend.”

He reached out, his hand hovering near Callum’s arm for a heartbeat before he caught himself. Instead, he just looked at him and widened those green eyes with an intensity that made Callum’s knees weak.