Page 44 of Mail-Order Lady

“I know what you meant.” Robert turned. With everything in him, he kept his face level as he eyed his brother. “She agreed to the marriage because it solved a problem. She did not agree to anything else. The arrangement was specific. And I intend to honor it.”

James watched Robert in that careful way he had, with the small line between his brows that meant he was reading more than was being said.

“Robert.” James’s voice came quieter than Thomas’s. “Have you told her?”

“Told her what?”

“That you love her.”

Part of him wanted to deny it. Denial would be the easier path.

But just once, it might be nice to say it. To let out this thing that had built so strongly inside him, he had no idea how to contain it anymore. He couldn’t say it to Clara, but maybe he could be honest with his brothers.

Maybe not though. At least, not outright.

Maybe he shouldn’t say Yes, I love her. Perhaps it was enough not to deny the accusation.

He worked to bring moisture into his mouth. “No. And I’m not going to tell her.”

Thomas opened his mouth.

Robert couldn’t stand to hear what that mouthy boy would say, so he pushed on. “She married me to escape her mother. She did not marry me because she wanted a husband. If I tell her what I feel, I put her in a position she didn’t agree to be in. It’s not fair to her, and I won’t.”

Once more, absolute stillness settled over the barn.

At last, Thomas blew out a breath through his nose. “I give it one week at the most.” He sent Robert a grin far too cocky. “And I only allow that long because you’re so stubborn.” Yet his tone said he’d let the subject drop now.

For that, Robert gave a nod of thanks. “Let’s get this wagon unloaded. I’m hungry.”

And then he needed to sleep…so he’d be ready for his turn at watch.

CHAPTER 12

Clara stood outside the bedroom door her sister shared with Thomas and listened for sounds inside. Thomas was outside standing watch, so she could enter freely if Kate was awake. But her sister had looked exhausted when she came down to eat a slice of bread that morning. If she could possibly have gone back to sleep, the last thing Clara should do was wake her.

A sound drifted through the door…a wretched, heaving sound from somewhere in the room.

She pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Kate sat at the side of the bed, both hands gripping the basin in her lap, her knuckles white against the ceramic edge. Her hair hung loose around her face, the golden strands damp at her temples.

Another heave jerked her shoulders, and Clara reached her before the sound had finished.

She sank beside her sister and gathered Kate’s hair back from her face. She held the locks with one hand, then used the other to rub a gentle circle on her back.

Two more horrific shudders passed through Kate’s body, spewing the last of the water she’d drunk. What little food she’d eaten in the kitchen already lay in the basin.

At last, Kate’s body sagged, and she reached for a cloth on the bedside table.

Clara eased the basin away from her. “I’ll go empty this.”

Kate didn’t respond, not even a nod, just sank sideways onto the bed. Her face had blanched to the palest of whites, except for her bright red mouth and the deep shadows around her closed eyes.

Clara set the basin on the washstand for a moment and poured a bit of water on a clean cloth. She took it back to Kate and wiped the sweat that glistened on her face. “Can I get you anything else?”

Kate gave a faint shake of her head, then those red lips parted, and her voice rasped. “I have water. I’ll sleep now.”

Kate had always shielded Clara from pain, anywhere she could. If only there was a way to take this misery in her place. Why did bringing new life into the world have to be so hard?