Page 66 of You’re So Vein

“A man does not spend the evening crawling around on his knees in the dirt in an expensive suit for a woman he doesn’t like,” Papa says with his kind smile. “You think I don’t notice, but I see the two of you together. You are real with each other. That’s what a good marriage needs, even when the realness is ugly. You asked me to help you find a husband, and I found many nice men who aren’t good enough for you. But I think maybe my work is done. Maybe the right man has been in front of you the whole time.”

My voice cracks. “Papa—”

“I’ll take the boys to the playground.” He takes the helicopter from Kiaan. “You return your friend’s coat. And maybe you think about what I said.”

“But Papa, you shouldn’t be outside in this weather.”

“Back in India, I had baths that were worse than this. If the cancer hasn’t got me yet, then a little water won’t kill me. And these two terrors will take it easy on an old man, won’t they?” He ruffles Kiaan’s hair. “Go. Take it from your papa. You are the bravest person I know, but there are times in life when you don’t take a chance on something, when you let the fear win, and you always live to regret those times. Don’t let this be one of them.”

He places Augustin’s coat into my hands.

Guilt gnaws away at me.

I could go and apologise for making assumptions about why Augustin was playing with my nephews. That’s what the bigger person would do. And when I apologise, I can explain that I’m a bit sensitive about kids and family stuff because of…

No, no apologising. He’s the enemy.

Even if he does have a nice arse.

But I will return Augustin’s property and tell him what Dante said.

And I will ask him if he was really suffering from coffinitis when he said all those things about loving me.

I stare down at the coat in my hands.

I still don’t know where Augustin lives, but I know who does. I whip out my phone and fire off a text to Celeste.

Komal: You walk around the woods a bunch, right?

Celeste: If you’re asking me where Augustin lives, the answer is in a lovely little cottage along the forest path.

A moment later, she texts me a photograph of a doodle she’s made of the forest path, a couple of turn-offs, and a big X on a house with the words “hot vampire sex” written next to it.

Hmmm.

I could stuff the coat in his letterbox without talking to him, but that’s not right. I need to fix this in person. Madam MacGyver always fixes things herself.

Celeste: Unless this is a dangerous thing and not a hot vampire sex thing, in which case, do you want someone to go with you?

Komal: I’m going, and I’m going alone.

I wrap Augustin’s coat around my shoulders. It’s super soft and smells like the forest.

Komal: I need to see a man about a spark.

23Komal

Celeste: Tell him that you love him, too!

THE MOMENT I SHUT THE front door behind me and pull the lapels of Augustin’s coat tight around my face, I breathe out with relief. It’s so quiet out here.

Well, that’s not strictly true. Rain falls in angry sheets, drumming against the house and plink-plink-plinking off the roofs of the six cars parked in the drive. Water gurgles down the drains and spills out onto the road, where the stormwater system is struggling to keep up.

But it’s quite pleasant, actually.

And then the edges of the world shrink into me, and I realise how dark it is, and that I’ve decided to walk to Augustin’s house at night, on my own, and my chest tightens.

I’ve been having this reaction to the dark for five years now, and I still forget sometimes. I go through life thinking that I’m normal, that I can fix any problem, and then the power goes off or I have to walk home at night or I get trapped in a cupboard with a vampire and I can’t breathe and I’m absolutely certain I’m going to die.