Page 20 of You’re So Vein

I’ve made a tactical error.

“Why are you dithering, Durant? Let’s get this over with.” Komal grabs my hand over the handle and yanks the door shut with a CLICK, severing my tie to the charmed vine.

Her touch sings through my body. I can’t remember the last time someone’s touch has made me feel like this – hot and heady and charged.

She glances up at me, yanking her hand back into her pocket, and her eyes are wide and filled with ire. The sensor light flickers on. In the tiny space, all the things that make her my enemy don’t matter. What has become keenly important is her hips brushing my trousers, and her right breast pressing against my shirt.

The poltergeist tries to climb out between my ribs.

Her eyes narrow. “If this is all an elaborate ruse so that you can suck my neck, I must warn you that I’m armed against vampire attacks.”

“I have no such desires.” I swallow down the words. “But I must warn you that an anti-vampire charm will do nothing but make a delicious pizza.”

“I figured as much.” She tosses the hex bag onto the shelf beside the printer cartridges. “What are we doing in here, Durant?”

Not any of the things I wish to do in here, alas. “We need to talk about the elections.”

“You know what people are going to think if they see us walking out of the stationery cupboard together?” Her breath is hot on my cheek. “They’re going to think we were making out.”

I must get myself to an Upyr doctor, if one exists. This feeling of a poltergeist playing my ribs like a xylophone can’t be normal. I must have some rare vampire affliction. Perhaps I’m allergic to beautiful, raven-haired annoyances.

“That would be absurd,” I manage to choke out.

“It would be,” she growls. “But it doesn’t change the fact that it will be all over the village by nightfall that we were shagging—”

“Please stop using crass language. This is an important—”

“Shagging! Cock! Ballsack! Cu—”

“You are a ridiculous woman.”

“Tits!” Komal shrieks.

“I need you to drop out of the mayoral race,” I say quickly, hoping that if I push out the words at speed, she’ll agree to them before realising what I’m asking.

I have never been a lucky vampire.

“You dragged me into the stationery cupboard to beg me to drop out?” The smirk in her voice warms my blood. “Aren’t we getting a little desperate?”

“This isn’t desperation, but facts. There are forces in the works that we cannot risk you messing up. More rides on me winning this election than you could ever know.”

Komal tries to fold her arms, but succeeds only in pushing her breasts up against me. My skin sizzles where she touches me. I bite my lip to prevent a moan escaping unbidden, angling my body towards the pen supply so she doesn’t accidentally brush against my trousers, because I’m aware that of all the things to happen right at this moment, I’m growing hard.

What is wrong with me? I’m no longer in control of my body.

This isn’t how this is supposed to go.

Why can’t I be charming, like Gideon, or dangerous, like Alaric?

Komal shrinks back, her elbow knocking off a stack of staples. “You’d better explain, and no lies, vampire.”

If only I could.

If only I could tell you that I am ill, and that I’m afraid for Hannah, and that being around you seems to make both those things worse.

“I’ve arranged for three representatives of the Conclave to visit the village,” I say instead. “They arrive next week.”

She sighs. “Just what we need, more vampires making a mess of things. Why are these illustrious bloodsuckers gracing us with their presence?”