Page 153 of You’re So Vein

His Adam’s apple bobs. “You didn’t even hesitate.”

“I don’t have to.”

Tendrils of ivy curl from the cuffs of his torn shirt. He looms over me, stopping an inch away.

“You make every decision in your life to please someone else,” he says, his voice low, dangerous. “I don’t want you to ever feel that way around me. I want you to tell me what you want. I won’t do anything unless you will it. If you want me to impale myself upon Alaric’s sword—”

“I don’t want that.” My voice doesn’t sound like my own.

“Then what do you want, Komal?”

“I want to be a vampire. Who doesn’t want to live forever and flounce about dramatically in period clothing and flawless skin? And you’re not even allergic to garlic. This is good, because I love garlic. Although, is it all holy relics that aren’t permitted, or only Christian holy relics, because Hindu—”

“Komal.”

“Yes! I want this for Hannah, so I can protect her better. I want this for you, because I want to climb into your coffin and play footsie with your cold feet and steal all the blankets.” My voice cracks. “But most of all, I want this for me. I’m ready. I want to be a vampire.”

His lips curl back into his shy, beautiful smile. The twin flames of his eyes flare into an inferno. As he steps closer to me, my heart ratchets up into a clatter. A train set loose upon the tracks, hurtling faster and faster towards falling completely in love with him.

Love.

The moment I think the word, I know it’s true. I’m not afraid of it. I’m in love with Augustin Durant, with his stoic nature and his steadiness and the fact that he’s sitting in a creepy garden in a silk shirt and a rumpled, sodden pair of trousers, with mud and twigs in his hair, looking like a forest god. I love that in the fiery depths of his eyes is the safety I didn’t even know I’d been searching for.

I’m safe with him.

Augustin’s eyes widen as if he can sense my thoughts. Or maybe he can smell the arousal pooling low in my belly at the sight of him. Apparently, damp men with twigs in their hair do it for me. Especially if I’m in love with them.

“Augustin…” I breathe.

He lifts his hand, and I’m so awed by the softness in his gaze that I lose my words.

“Before we go any further, I need to tell you something, and it could change everything,” he says, his tone serious. “I know we made an agreement to keep Hannah safe. To keep you safe. But I don’t know if I can honour it. I love you.”

Well.

Shit.

He moves closer on the bench, so we are toe-to-toe, magic prickling in the air between us. Vines curl around his wrists, but he doesn’t release them. Instead, he cups my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look up at his serious face.

“All my life, I’ve never fit anywhere,” he says. “But when I’m with you, the otherness never comes. I’m not an alien. Even when you hated me, you saw me.”

“You saw me,” I whisper.

“I have shut myself away for so long – a walnut with a shell so thick, my heart has become inaccessible even to me. I told myself it was to keep Hannah safe, but I’m afraid that if I’m truly honest, it’s to keep me safe, too. If I wore loneliness as armour, then I didn’t have to face another betrayal. But the armour is heavy, and I have walked so far alone, and I am tired. With you, I’m laying aside my armour, because you are where I rest.”

“I hope…” I swallow back the lump that rises in my throat. “I hope that we’re not resting tonight.”

“If you want to rest, we will rest. If you want something more, then…” His eyes darken. “I am your humble servant. But first, I need you to know the whole truth. Please forgive my clumsy heart for falling for you, but I had no choice. You captivated me with your unhinged behaviour, your bright smile and your beautiful heart. I’m tired of being afraid. I love you. I want you more than I want my loneliness, and if you’ll have me, we will conquer every danger that threatens us together.”

His thumb traces my chin as goosebumps prickle my skin.

Love.

The word that has been dancing in the shadows between us, long before tonight.

“I love you,” I whisper back. “You are my castle walls. You are the steady earth I need beneath me to feel brave. I’ve never been able to be vulnerable before, to expose the ugly things beneath the surface that make me feel like less than the Komal I show the world. You don’t judge me – you encircle me with empathy and understanding. The only thing you have to do is stand with me, and I’m a better person just by being beside you. Also, your daughter is amazing, and I can’t wait to teach her my wild ways.”

“If Hannah turns out as brave and wonderful as you, then I shall be delighted.” Augustin lets out a shaky breath as he smiles. “I worried you didn’t feel the same way, and I’d be forced to stare at you all night in agony while we waited.”