Page 37 of Off Sides

After dinner, we go back to Jonah’s room, where he makes sure to close the door. “See? Really good pot roast,” he says as he takes a seat on his bed. I take the safest seat I can—the desk chair by his bed, but he grabs the arm and pulls me over to him. “Not bad, right?”

“The dinner? Yeah, it wasn’t bad.”

“I mean hanging out with me.” He’s smiling. Totally calm and in control, but I’m freaking out.

I can’t sit this close to him. I can’t breathe him in and look at his gorgeous face. It’s too tempting. “It’s not so bad,” I say, licking my dry lips and forcing myself to look away from him.

I’m just staring at the wall like an idiot when he speaks again. “Calvin,” he says quietly, but it’s not until I feel his fingers gently brush over my hand resting on my thigh that I actually look at him. “Nothing happened.”

Okay, so he’s onboard with forgetting about the lake. That’s good. That’s really good. Good. Good. Good. Okay, stop thinking the word good. But it is good because we can do this. We can just hang out and not kiss.

“Well, something did happen.” He grins playfully, and shit, my entire body locks up with nerves. “But I mean that happened, and then nothing bad happened.”

“That . . .” I say dumbly.

“Kiss,” he says, and goddammit, I should’ve known he wasn’t just going to let it go. He can’t just let it have happened and then totally ignore it. Jonah isn’t built like that. He faces everything. He’s fearless.

I instinctively look at the closed door, my heart pounding rapidly in my chest. I hate the fear inside me. His hand now clasps mine, his fingers sliding between mine as he squeezes and holds my hand like I’m a scared little child. Which is exactly how I’m acting right now. I turn my head back toward him.

“No one knows what happened. That we kissed.” His voice isn’t a whisper, but it’s quiet. I know no one is listening, but it still sounds so loud to me. Thrumming in my ears.

“We can’t do it again,” I say, trying to be firm, but it comes out shaky and unsure. Because I want to. He knows it too.

“Why not?” he asks. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“It changes everything. I don’t do this.”

“I know,” he says, squeezing my hand again in reassurance. “I know last time, it was horrible for you. That your so-called friends turned on you and bully you relentlessly. But this isn’t that. You didn’t shove me into any lockers today. You didn’t threaten me. I’m not going to confront you in front of them. No one is going to know anything about your personal business.”

My cheeks heat at the thought. I can’t stand the fact that people talk about me at school. That they gossip about me kissing another guy. Call me names. I don’t want to care, but I do. I worry every day it’ll get back to my family, but it hasn’t.

“I would never hurt you,” I say because from all that, I focus on the fact that he thought I might push him around.

“I know,” he says effortlessly, like he was never worried. “You aren’t the same person you were last year. You learned from your mistakes.”

“Yeah, and I haven’t kissed another guy.” I sound frantic. Probably because that’s how I feel. Jonah does this to me. He makes me spin out and shakes up my whole world. I’d planned to just keep my head down and get through this year, but then here comes Jonah. This force of nature who won’t allow me to just float through.

He makes me face things like he does, and I’m not sure if I like it or not. But still, I find myself moving forward, my face in his face. I take a deep breath—breathing in his intoxicating scent and look at his lips.

He stares at me, totally still. Letting me make the move. I push away and stand up, noting the disappointment written all over his face but also knowing he won’t pressure me to do anything I’m not ready for. Maybe that’s why I move forward with what I was planning to do.

I walk over to his bedroom door and turn the lock, clicking it into place before walking back over to him. His eyes are wide with beautiful surprise, a faint smile on his lips before I lean down and press mine against his mouth.

I kiss him hard, my body covering his as he pulls me onto his lap. I’m a big guy, but I don’t really feel like it as he holds onto me, kissing the hell out of me while his hands slide down my back.

He doesn’t urge me to do anything but kiss. His tongue meets mine, our mouths intertwined. My cock is so hard, I think I might actually pass out from all the blood rushing to my groin. I feel lightheaded and free.

The nerves are still there. I’m conscious of the fact that we’re in Coach’s house, but I’m also able to get lost in Jonah. In the sweet way his fingers trail under my shirt and over my back.

I can feel his hard dick against mine, and I thrust against it, making us both groan softly as he responds, pushing up against me and dragging his cock against mine.

“We don’t have to do anything more than kiss,” he says softly, pulling away just enough to look down at our laps. He put on joggers after his shower, and I’m wearing thin shorts. Our hard cocks are both jutting out like they’re trying to join, and God, I want that.

“What if I want to?” I ask, my voice gravelly.

He looks happily surprised by that, but I can also tell he’s holding back, waiting for me to push him away. I hate that, but it’s valid. I could still run away. This is all foreign to me. “You can do anything you want with me. I’m all yours.”

My throat nearly closes up at his statement, my heart racing because he can’t say things like that to me. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”