Page 53 of About That Pact

“What the fuck does that mean?” Rafe sat down, stewing in his armchair now. “How can you say no? How do you not want to be together, after all we have been through?”

His heart was shredding into pieces, yet he held on to optimism she would explain how she felt. The way he loved her, he was certain they could talk through it. They could work through any problems together. There was no way her only connection to him was sex.

Charlotte was still, like if she moved, she would shatter. “I have to say no. When the fallout happens and we break up, it would be worse this time around.”

“You already assume we’re going to end before we even start?” Rafe was losing the hope he tried desperately to cling on to. He paced, unable to sit still with the emotion pulsing through him. “I know you feel this between us, but you don’t want to give us a chance. Tell me how that makes sense?”

“It makes sense because we have been down this road before. It makes sense because if we put a label on this, everything changes. We start going on dates, holding hands at family functions, telling other people how we feel about each other. More people are involved. Like our family.”

“That’s typically how a relationship works,” he snapped at her.

“Don’t you get it?” Her voice cracked as she yelled. “Other people will be in the crossfire. The only reason it didn’t all go to shit when I was nineteen was because no one knew what had happened between us. I can’t go through that again, but having it would be worse this time because everyone would know and feel sorry for me.”

What the fuck?

He had no idea what she was talking about.

“Care to fill me in on what the hell you mean?” He threw his hands in the air in frustration, needing an answer from her.

Charlotte jumped up and grabbed his jeans, throwing them at him like she expected him to leave. No way was he going anywhere before this conversation was finished. He’d get dressed, but he wasn’t going anywhere.

“Tell me.” He stuffed his leg into his jeans. “What are you talking about?”

She chucked his shirt at him. “Do I really need to remind you what it was like after I gave you my virginity?”

There was no need for her to relive the memory. He remembered vividly.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked furiously. His hands pulled as his hair, all his notorious patience long gone. “You were the one who didn’t want anything back then. Just like you’re the one who doesn’t want anything now.”

“Get out!” she screamed. He didn’t move fast enough, so she grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. Her face was flushed with anger, but he didn’t console her. This wasn’t his fault.

He stomped to her front door, desperately needing space from her and the end of what he thought was his future. Before he walked through the door, he turned back around. There was no way she was demanding him to leave, acting righteous, when this wasn’t his fault. She wasn’t telling their story right. “You were the one who left me all those years ago—not the other way around. Problem is, I’m the one who has to deal with it. Again.”

Rafe slammed her front door and left. He couldn’t believe this was how they were ending, with screaming and anger. This was heartbreak. Except, he hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell her how much she meant. How much he loved her.

Chapter 19

12 Years Ago

BY THE TIME Charlotte came home from vacation, she felt like a new person. It wasn’t just because she had lost her virginity. All right, that was a big part of it, but there was more. It was because of who she’d given her virginity to.

She still couldn’t believe it. Rafe was everything she’d ever wanted in a man. Her perfect man was based off him. And in his tent, he’d made her first time special.

There was always the worry their friendship would change for the worse afterward, but for her, it was the exact opposite. After they had sex, Rafe had been prepared with a soft towel for her to clean up. They’d both gotten dressed, which she’d kind of wished they hadn’t, but since they were on vacation with family, they hadn’t had a choice. They’d stayed in his tent for a couple more hours just talking. And kissing. And touching. It had been romantic…well as romantic as losing your virginity in a tent to a family friend while on vacation in Canada could be. Details, really.

It wasn’t until Jason knocked on Rafe’s tent that the fun stopped.

“What are you guys doing?” he asked, giving Rafe a questionable look. “Why are you two in the tent together?”

Rafe was clever. He picked up a book. “Talking books.”

“You guys are such nerds,” he hesitantly said before leaving them alone.

It took a minute until they both began laughing again.

She grabbed her book. “Could you imagine if we’d told him the truth? Yikes. He would have lost it.”

“Where are you going?” Rafe wasn’t laughing anymore.