Page 11 of Christmas Magic at Inishbeg Cove

He sat back down on the sofa and refilled his glass with heady wine. ‘Can I ask you a question, Faye?’ he asked after a beat.

‘Sure,’ she replied. The wine had loosened her normally closed off stance.

‘Well why do you hate Christmas so much?’

‘I don’t hate Christmas. I’m just not into it.’

‘Really? You normally spend it alone. You prefer to work. It looks that way to me.’

‘I really enjoyed myself today,’ she admitted.

‘You did?’ His face lit up in surprise. ‘I know my family can be a bit much but they’re good people.’

‘They are. It wasn’t an act, you know…’ she added. ‘I had fun today. They made me feel so welcome. It’s been a long time since I enjoyed Christmas day. Thank you for inviting me.’

‘Well, I’m glad you had a good day,’ he said. They both fell quiet until finally Conor spoke again. ‘What happened to you, Faye?’

She sat up straight. ‘How do you mean?’

‘Well usually when someone has such a dislike for Christmas there’s a reason.’

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him. ‘Did Margo tell you something?’

He shook his head vehemently. ‘I swear on Gran’s life, Margo said nothing only that you two work together and she was giving you her cottage for Christmas. That’s it, that’s all I know about you, I promise.’

How was it that they had only met a few days ago and yet he already knew her better than some people who had known her for years? It was as if he could see through her hardened exterior, past all the pain and the façade she normally displayed for the world. Conor could see deep down into her soul.

‘My mum left, when I was six. On Christmas day.’

‘Faye, I’m sorry–’ Conor rushed in shaking his head. ‘I should never have asked. It’s none of my business…’

‘No, it’s okay,’ she said. What was it about him that made her open up to him when she had never spoken about it to anyone before? ‘My dad raised me for a while but he was an alcoholic and things got so bad after my mother left that my grandmother – my dad’s mother – took me in. I used to write to Santa every year asking him to bring my mother home and of course he never did. I’d wake up on Christmas morning and my grandmother would have saved so hard for the latest toy and I’d be disappointed because it wasn’t my mum waiting for me by the Christmas tree and she’d wonder what she had done wrong and I was too embarrassed to tell her what I had really wished for. You can probably see why I hate Christmas now…’ she trailed off.

‘Is your grandmother still alive?’

Faye shook her head. ‘She passed away when I was eighteen so I’ve been on my own since then.’

‘Where’s your dad now?’

‘Still a drunken mess. He’s in an assisted-living unit for vulnerable people now because he can’t take care of himself. I visit him occasionally but he doesn’t seem to know who I am.’

‘That’s awful. Did you ever reunite with your mother?’

She shook her head. ‘After my grandmother died I felt completely lost in the world. She was the only person I could count on and she was taken away from me. So then I started thinking about my mother and I thought that maybe she might be looking for me too. I had myself convinced that perhaps she was too embarrassed to make contact after leaving me so young and was waiting for me to make the first move. I had imagined this big, tearful reunion over and over again in my head, where she explained her reasons for leaving, I forgave her and we all lived happily ever after. It sounds so ridiculous now when I say it out loud,’ Faye said bitterly. ‘Anyway, I managed to track her down in County Wexford. She had remarried and had a new family. She had three more children that I guessed were around the same age as I was when she left. That killed me. Like she had just wiped the slate clean and started again, replacing my family with a new one. I’m sure life probably wasn’t easy for her with an alcoholic husband and a young child but why didn’t she take me with her? How could she leave me behind? So I chickened out in the end, I left her alone and never contacted her and she’s never contacted me either..’

‘I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through,’ Conor said. ‘There’s me with a big family that drive me mad half the time but they always have my back. I take them for granted. We just assume everyone has a happy time at Christmas; it must be so annoying when people keep asking you why you hate it so much. I can totally understand it now. I’m sorry for not being more sensitive.’

‘It’s not your fault. I get that for everyone else Christmas is a fun time, it just wasn’t that way for me. But being with your family today… well, I saw another side to it. A side that I don’t remember ever experiencing. It was nice.’

His eyes searched hers. ‘I liked having you there today.’

‘Oh, I’m sure you would have had a lovely day with or without me.’

‘It felt good bringing someone with me, even if it kept Gran happy for a few hours.’ He laughed. ‘She’s always nagging me because I haven’t met anyone yet.’

‘Really? A handsome guy like you, I’m sure you’re not short of offers.’

‘Well it’s been a while since I’ve been in a serious relationship. You see I was engaged before…’ he admitted.