Page 33 of Coming Home to Inishbeg Cove

The thing was, I didn’t even like him in that way. It was as though I had taken a leave of absence from my body. I had thought about calling him, but humiliation had stopped me. Things were bad enough without me digging an even bigger hole. Knowing me, if I picked up the phone to try and explain it, I would probably end up making everything worse.

Tadgh looked across to Ruairí, who was standing watching us from behind the counter.

‘In private?’ Tadgh mumbled.

‘Well, I’m busy…’ Mrs Manning was staring at us from across the café, not bothering to disguise her interest. She was clearly enjoying the drama, which added to my embarrassment.

‘Why don’t you two nip into the kitchen for a moment?’ Ruairí suggested.

I knew he was just trying to be helpful, but this was going to be beyond awkward.

‘Okay.’ My heart was beating so loudly that I was sure Tadgh could hear it as he followed me.

‘So, what’s up?’ I asked when we were alone together. I was doing my utmost to sound nonchalant, even though I felt anything but.

He stood there looking sheepish. Was he finding this just as embarrassing as I was? A stray curl had fallen across one eye, and I resisted the urge to reach across and push it away. He smoothed it back off his face, but it sprang out from behind his ear again. His hair always had a mind of its own.

‘I just wanted to apologise—’ he began.

‘You’ve nothing to apologise for.’

‘Well, then I think I should explain—’

‘You don’t need to explain,’ I said, cutting him off again.

‘Will you just hear me out, Penny, for God’s sake?’ he said with a touch of impatience. ‘The other evening on the beach... I wanted to kiss you, of course I did, but...’ He paused. ‘Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you’re ready.’

His words knocked me off balance. I felt myself stumble as I tried to catch myself. ‘Ready?’ I blustered. ‘Ready for what?’

‘Well, to be with someone new.’ His face changed from a light blush pink to a more intense shade of red. He was visibly squirming in front of me.

‘Look, I think you’re reading too much into it, Tadgh,’ I said, trying to recover myself. ‘I had a long day and the prosecco went to my head. Let’s just forget it ever happened.’

‘Oh...’ he said, looking abashed. The flecks of hazel in his eyes danced as they met mine, and I found myself looking away.

‘So, we’re okay?’ I went on.

He looked as though he was about to say something else, but changed his mind at the last minute. ‘We’re good,’ he agreed.

‘Great,’ I said, forcing a smile on my face. ‘Well, I’d better get back to work – there’s a queue building again out there.’ I began to walk out of the kitchen.

‘Sure,’ he said, stepping aside to let me past him.

‘What was all that about?’ Ruairí asked after Tadgh had walked out without saying goodbye to him. ‘He looks like he swallowed a wasp.’

‘It’s nothing.’

‘It didn’t look like nothing to me. In fact, if you ask me, it looks as though the old spark has been reignited,’ he said, winking at me.

‘Nobody asked you,’ I quipped. ‘Anyway, we’re just friends. I’m still married, for God’s sake, Ruairí!’

‘You know what they say: the fastest way to get over someone is to get under somebody new—’

I swatted him playfully with a tea towel.

‘Ow,’ he said, clutching his arm dramatically and rolling around, pretending to be hurt.

I shook my head despairingly at him and went back to work cleaning down tables. Tadgh’s words were still sloshing around inside my head, like a little rowing boat being battered in a storm. Even though I had feigned indifference, he had rattled me. I hadn’t expected him to admit that he wanted to kiss me. Did that mean he had feelings for me? And what the hell had he meant, I wasn’t ready? Of course I wasn’t ready – although everyone else seemed to think I was deluded, deep in my heart a tiny flicker of hope still burned that my marriage might be salvaged.