Page 24 of Coming Home to Inishbeg Cove

‘How dare she!’ I blazed.

‘Please don’t be mad with her,’ Tadgh begged. ‘She’s just worried about you.’

‘Well, I don’t need sympathy. You don’t have to stay. You can go home if you want. I’m sure you’ve far more important things to be doing than trying to cheer up poor Penny Murphy because her husband has left her high and dry!’

Suddenly Tadgh began to laugh. Of all the reactions he could have chosen, that was the last one I had expected. I couldn’t believe his audacity.

‘What are you laughing at?’ I demanded.

‘You haven’t changed a bit,’ he said, shaking his head with a grin before taking a slow sip of his pint.

‘Excuse me?’ I said, feeling anger course through me.

‘You always were so fiery.’

I could feel my face flame. I raised my G&T to my lips and took a gulp. The alcohol burned its way down my throat. I didn’t need this. I thought about getting up and leaving the pub right then, but Jim was looking over at us, probably wondering what was going on. If I stood up and walked out, I’d be the talk of the village tomorrow morning. I decided I would finish my drink, then I could leave without raising any eyebrows.

‘Ah Penny, I’m only having a laugh with you,’ Tadgh cajoled. ‘Look, you don’t need to tell me the ins and outs. It’s none of my business what is happening between you and Joe—’

‘You’re right, it is none of your business,’ I interrupted him.

‘Look, Pen, we go back a long way. I don’t want to fall out with you.’

It was the way he shortened my name that got me. Pen. He was the only person who’d ever called me that, and suddenly I was back to being a teenager again. I looked up at him and our eyes locked. I could see the familiar specks of hazel in their blue depths. I had once known those eyes better than I knew my own.

‘I’m sorry,’ I mumbled. ‘I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.’

‘It’s okay. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, if you need to talk or whatever. I mean it. Break-ups are hard.’ He paused before adding, ‘I should know.’

There was an unmistakable hurt in his eyes, and guilt crawled through me as I thought back to our own break-up. But we had been too young to deal with the responsibility that had been thrust on us. I looked away and began to run my finger down through the condensation on the side of my glass.

‘We had a lot of fun though, didn’t we?’ I said, trying to lighten the mood. ‘Remember the time Barry Mangan played a knick-knack on Ida’s door and we were convinced for weeks afterwards she was after putting a curse on us...’

He laughed. ‘God, I think I slept with the light on for a whole month after that! What about the time we all went skinny-dipping off the pier and Skipper ran off with our clothes?’

I burst out laughing, sending a spray of gin & tonic from my mouth. ‘I had forgotten about that.’ We had dared each other to do it, but afterwards we couldn’t find our clothes anywhere. It was only when Tadgh spotted Skipper running up the main street with his boxer shorts in his mouth that we realised what had happened. We had eventually found our clothes scattered all over the village. ‘That was fun trying to explain to Mam and Dad why we were running around without a stitch on us.’

Soon we were laughing so much that my anger began to dissipate. We chatted and joked easily together as we caught up on old times. When Jim finally called last orders, I had a pain in my side from giggling at our teenage antics. It was a reminder of a time in my life when things were easy, before everything changed and we were thrown into the responsibilities of adulthood.

After we had said goodbye to Jim, we stepped outside into a clear summer evening. Stars twinkled brightly in the distance until the sky and sea merged into a navy-black on the horizon. Moths danced in the fuzzy yellow glow cast by the streetlamps on the main street. All was peaceful in Inishbeg Cove.

‘I have to say I actually enjoyed myself tonight, Tadgh,’ I paused. ‘I’m sorry for my outburst earlier.’

‘Well now, you see? I’m not the worst person to be stuck with for a few hours.’

‘I’m just glad it didn’t go on any longer.’

He elbowed me playfully. We had reached my door, and I was instantly transported back to all those evenings standing in the warm summer air, where he would kiss me in this exact spot, and I would pray that my parents weren’t looking through the window at us.

‘Are you working tomorrow?’ he asked.

I nodded.

‘I might drop in for a coffee if it’s not too busy in the restaurant so. See you then. Goodnight, Penny.’

‘Great, see you then! Goodnight, Tadgh,’ I called after him, watching as his broad shape cut a path under the moonlight.

I went around to the back door, where a light was on in the kitchen. Through the glass, I saw Mam sitting at the table.

‘Well?’ she said before I had even closed the door behind me. She was waiting up for me, probably dying to hear how the night went.

‘Well what?’ I replied. I thought about my earlier anger at how she’d tried to get Tadgh to cheer me up, then my irritation faded. Maybe she had been right. I had enjoyed the evening, despite my initial reservations.

‘Did ye have a good night?’

‘It was okay, I suppose.’

I watched her trying to mask a smile.

I climbed into bed beside Lucy and put my arm around her small body. I loved feeling the reassuring rise and fall of her ribcage underneath my palm as she breathed deeply. As I lay there, I felt strangely light. I realised it was the first night since I had arrived in the village that I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep. Suddenly everything didn’t seem so bleak, and I began to think that I might just be okay.