Page 92 of The Betrothal

“Clear instructions?” This was news to me.

“You had to beg,” she continued.

“I beg your pardon?” I couldn’t hide my surprise.

“I’m not sure that’ll cut it, I’m afraid,” she snickered. “Seb said that if you wanted a place in my harem, actually he said they both agreed – you needed to beg me.” She chuckled before laughing so hard she snorted.

“Holy shit, the little fuckers,” I gasped.

“I think Seb’s bigger than you actually,” she chided. It had the desired effect.

I flipped her onto her back and pressed between her legs. Her laughter made me smile. I was grateful for the darkness in the room, it always made talking easier, although the temptation was strong to turn on the lamp, just to see her this happy in my company.

I nipped at her jaw and her laugh ended on a gasp.

“I wouldn’t worry about the begging. I’ll likely be deep in the shit when we get back.” I tried to shift back a little, conscious of my returning arousal and the fact she’d not long taken care of me, but she halted my movement.

“Why is that?” she asked, wrapping her legs over mine and keeping me against her.

“Because I took you with me,” I sighed. “The boys aren’t jealous, Izzy. In case you hadn’t noticed?” Her laugh was her reply, so I continued. “But I did take you away from them, something that neither will forgive quickly. Especially not Ben.”

She hummed against me, waiting for me to carry on.

“I just wanted to protect him,” I murmured. “From getting too attached.”

“You want to protect everyone, that’s your problem.” She dragged her nails softly through my hair and over my scalp and I shuddered against her.

“I haven’t protected you.” I voiced my guilt, not expecting her to protest.

“You don’t owe me anything,” she muttered. “But I can tell you protect those you love, even those who aren’t family?”

I knew what she meant.

“They deserve better. So much better,” I whispered into the dark, pausing at the emotion that clogged my throat. “I see what it did to Ben, and the thought of those children, how the system treats them, how it abandons them. It disgusts me.”

She stroked me and for some reason I carried on.

“They killed my mother, and I suppose my father.” I swallowed, the darkness a safe shelter for my truth. “My mother struggled to conceive me, when she did she was so happy. But…” I dragged in a steadying breath, hoping my voice stayed even. “Given who my father was and his choice to go into government, the influence the family had and how he poured that into what is now the current agenda. After all his work on the family unit standards. Well, Mother naturally wanted a second child.”

Her second hand gentled over my back and she pressed my head against her chest. I propped myself to keep from crushing her, revelling in the warmth of her body and the steady thud of her heartbeat.

“My father.” Bitterness dripped from the word. “Didn’t demand it of her. But this was the world he built. Children, two. So, she wanted to do that with him, be what he set as the standard. And when she couldn’t, it ate at her. Consumed her.”

“Oh, Alex.” She sounded so sad.

“We left London and Father abandoned his policies and his political career, he ignored other options open to him and retired to the country home. Only, by the time he did things were really dire. Scary, really. Until she found Ben.” I smiled at the memory. “The little golden boy who the system had broken. Abandoned by a family who didn’t want a son with an anxious condition and left to a care system that couldn’t cater to his needs. She loved him immediately.”

I heard her heart thud a little faster, hands stilling on my body as she processed the information.

“Her mental health never really stabilised fully. She died when I was in my last year at Oxford. Father hit the bottle and followed her six months later after which I abandoned my education. What good did the law do for anyone, anyway? So, I came home to try to keep the family afloat.”

Her grip had tightened on me, drawing me as close as she could. I felt her shudder, a sniffle following.

“That’s what I’ve done ever since, if I can call the fucking shocking job I’ve made of it done.” I fell silent.

Izzy held me, quiet in the darkness for a while before she tried to reply.

“I think you’ve done an incredible job, Alex. Ben and Seb are lucky to have you, so are the rest of the children you’re supporting.” She resumed her gentle stroking once more. “Why are you fighting to do it all alone though? You needn’t, there are plenty of people who will feel the same as you. And you are a Cavendish.”