Page 112 of The Betrothal

When Alex took the space beside me, I understood. They were making room for him. My heart swelled at that.

“So, Izzy, what do you wanna do tomorrow?” Seb asked from his post by Ben’s knees.

“I don’t mind.” I tensed. Tomorrow would be my last day at the cottage. The day after, I would have to go to town to meet Christian. “Any suggestions?”

Seb’s eyes glittered with mischief, and I scoffed.

“Can you think about anything other than sex?” Alex’s tone was gruff, but his face carried a playful smirk.

“Yes…” Seb started.

When he failed to carry on, Alex’s smile widened. “Exactly.”

“That’s not fair!” Seb complained. “Can you blame me with these two around?”

“You really want to ask me that?” Alex asked, incredulous.

“Okay, with Killer around?” Seb corrected.

“Excellent adjustment.” Alex spread out slightly, his knee coming into contact with mine where I had my legs crossed on the deep cushions. “And no, I can’t.”

I felt my cheeks heating; being wanted by so many men came with a surge of pride. I’d never felt wanted, coveted in such a way. I’d only experienced feeling owned.

Alex’s hand glided down his leg, his fingers curling over his knee and making glancing contact with mine. Hot tension skittered outward from where our bodies were touching. I had no need to hope for more because he took hold of my crossed legs and unwrapped them, hooking one over his and taking possession of my foot, his touch roving up and down my calf.

When I lifted my awareness from his hold to his face, his expression was unguarded and honest. By the time I wrenched my gaze away, Ben and Seb were silently watching us proudly.

Alex growled under the weight of their expectations. “Fuck off, will you?”

“Sugar.” Ben ignored his brother. “Tell us about your future?”

The other men stilled.

“How do you mean?” I asked carefully.

“Well, you’ve chosen yourself, and you’re seeking the future you want,” he echoed my words from the library. “What does that look like?”

I stilled, the movement in the room reduced to Alex’s gentle caresses of me and where Seb stroked Ben lovingly just across from us.

What does it look like?

“You mean, if I even manage to make it through the snow, which is absolutely unmoving?” I joked, but the room was silent.

“We’ll get you to your meet, Killer. Don’t you worry,” Seb reassured, though from his face it looked to have almost killed him to say it.

Smiling sadly, I looked between them because, truly, what my happiness looked like had changed. And what I wanted before couldn’t come close to the fantasy I’d dared to dream of when these men infected my mind, my heart.

“When I left the city,” I qualified. “All I wanted was the chance to live. My dreams went as far as teaching part-time, if my husband permitted. And the thought of what freedom looked like hadn’t spread beyond that.” I felt the smile falter. “If I dared to dream?”

Ben nodded in encouragement.

“My life would be wrapped around someone, or someones I loved, a quiet life in the country. The financial opportunity willed to me by my aunt buying peace, and the chance to help others. To teach women what their lives can be.” I disappeared into my memories. “I used to fantasise about finding that gap in the system, finding the snag and tearing it wide open, letting everyone the system had failed pour through.” I shrugged in defeat. “I failed. The lectures were too cautious and the material too refined. Any cracks were well hidden from me. But if I could, I’d help those the system abandons and neglects.”

Alex’s hold had tightened, and I realised he’d drawn so close to me that I was swathed in him, under one arm. His size and form a shroud from the most painful truth.

“I’ll have to accept what I can. A life sold to me by ghosts, living in shadows. Because the truth is, the people who own me can’t be beaten. The only way for me to survive, regardless of whether it’s a future I would choose, is to remain hidden from them.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO