Page 73 of Angel I Am Not

I glanced between them. “What does that mean?”

Zel’s hand continued moving slowly over my back. “You already know fresh bonds make everyone clingy. What you probably don’t know is that forming another one can stir the older bonds back up.”

I looked between them. “Stir them back up how?”

Luc set his fork down and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Most demons don’t form several bonds almost on top of each other. Usually there’s time for one to settle before another changes anything.”

The word caught my attention immediately. “Changes what?”

Zel’s hand paused at the base of my spine. Nick’s gaze shifted toward him, and Luc reached for his drink instead of answering right away.

“Zel,” I said, quieter this time.

He exhaled through his nose and looked at me. “The heat, the need for contact, the possessiveness, all of that comes back full force with a new bond. Everybody has to adjust again because there’s another person inside the connection.”

I sat there for a moment while Luc took another bite and Nick’s hand stayed warm over mine, the three of them suddenly looking much less casual than they had a minute ago.

“Four more Sins Dante wants you to meet,” Luc corrected. He reached for his glass, taking a long drink before setting it beside the half-finished plate in front of him. “That doesn’t mean four more bonds.”

“That wasn’t the part I was worried about.”

Zel’s hand continued its slow path over my back before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to my temple. Nick stayed close on my other side, his hand still covering mine on the table while Luc picked up his fork again. None of them seemed particularly bothered by how tangled together we’d become in public, even if the explanation had finally given me a reason for it.

Knowing the bonds were responsible for some of the constant need didn’t explain everything, though. They might be why distance felt wrong or why my body heated whenever one of them touched me, but they didn’t explain Nick replacing the soap after one complaint, Luc remembering exactly how much parmesan I dumped over my pasta, or Zel noticing every time my thoughts wandered somewhere unpleasant and quietly pulling me closer until I came back.

I looked down at Nick’s thumb moving over my knuckles and felt my chest tighten again. I’d already done enough emotional excavation over dinner, and if I stayed wedged between the two of them much longer, there was a very real chance I was going to start crying into my pasta.

“I need the bathroom.” I squeezed Nick’s hand before pulling mine free and slid out of the booth. Zel moved his arm so I could pass, his fingers trailing briefly over my waist before he let me go.

Luc glanced toward the hallway while he worked through another mouthful of pasta. “Left side, past the bar.”

“I saw it.” I smoothed my shirt back into place after squeezing out of the booth and started toward the aisle, only for Luc to call my name before I got very far.

“Ari.”

I turned back. Nick had already reached for his drink, Zel was stealing another piece of garlic bread, and Luc had set his fork down again. His expression was softer than it had been through most of dinner.

“You don’t have to understand all of it tonight,” he said. “You’ve had a lot thrown at you in a few days. Give yourself some time.”

The tightness in my chest returned, and I nodded because speaking suddenly felt more dangerous than it should’ve. Luc seemed to understand anyway. I left them at the booth and followed the signs toward the back of the restaurant, grateful when the bathroom door closed behind me and gave me a few minutes alone.

The room was empty. I leaned over the sink, splashed cold water over my face, and stayed there for a moment while it dripped from my chin. I’d spent years believing I understood exactly what angels and demons were supposed to be, and now every new answer seemed to pull another piece loose. At least the woman staring back at me in the mirror looked a little less wrung out than she had that morning.

I reached for a towel just as the door started opening behind me.

A man somewhere in the hallway caught it first. “Deus, what the fuck are you doing? That is the women’s bathroom.”

“Something in here smells incredible.”

There was a brief scrape of shoes outside before the first man tried again, sounding much closer now. “You can’t just follow a smell into the women’s bathroom.”

Deus didn’t answer him. The door swung the rest of the way open, and a moment later he stepped inside and let it close behind him.

For a few seconds, neither of us moved after I turned away from the sink. Deep green eyes locked onto mine beneath medium twists that framed a face unfairly designed to cause problems. His skin was dark like mine, his shoulders broad beneath a fitted shirt, and thick gold earrings caught the bathroom light when he tilted his head. He wasn’t as enormous as Zel, but there was enough muscle packed across his frame to make staring difficult to avoid.

Then recognition clicked into place. I’d seen him at Pretty in Pink before. Not long enough to know who he was or what he was doing there, but long enough that those green eyes felt familiar now that they were fixed entirely on me.

His nostrils flared as he drew in a slow breath, and something in his expression changed. “Holy fuck,” he breathed, letting his back settle against the closed door while his gaze moved over me and returned to my face. “Angel.”