Page 91 of In Your Light

Fyn ate his first spoonful of soup. “Yes.”

Hadeom pretended his soup was very interesting. “Where did you sleep?”

“Right here beside you.”

Hadeom’s gaze shot to his. “You did?”

“Yes.” Fyn smiled at the memory, at how it felt. “You seemed to like it.”

Hadeom’s cheeks flushed red. “I’m sorry I cannot remember it.”

“We can sleep together again tonight if you like,” Fyn said.

Hadeom choked on his soup. “Again? Did we...”

“What?” Fyn tilted his head, confused by that reaction. “I just said we slept in the same bed. Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Hadeom rolled his eyes. “Yes, it’s just... what you said means something else. In the human world, if you sleep with someone, it’s implied that sex was involved, and I thought you meant.... I thought we’d done something, and I couldn’t remember...” He frowned and went back to his soup. “Never mind.”

Fyn laughed. “That’s so silly. If they say sleep, they should mean sleep.” He ate another spoonful of soup. “And if they mean sex, they should say sex.”

Hadeom’s cheeks were pink. It could have been from the fire, but Fyn didn’t think it was.

“And I wouldn’t take advantage of you when you were not aware,” Fyn said. He shrugged. “But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like how it felt to have you in my arms.”

Hadeom made a soft sound, and he put his bowl of soup down. “Fyn,” he said gently.

“It’s okay,” Fyn said quickly. “You know how I feel about you, and it’s okay if you don’t feel that way about me. I mean, it hurts a little. I can admit that. I thought the way you looked at me back in the clearing meant something.” He shrugged one shoulder. “But it’s okay, Hadeom. I’ll still tell you that I love you because you deserve to know you are loved.”

“No, wait,” Hadeom said, blinking rapidly. “I do. I do feel the same. In fact, what I feel for you is so immeasurable and so intense, to hear you say you feel the same is…” He put his hand to his chest. “It’s everything to me, Fyn. I didn’t think my heart was capable of feeling this... this wonderful thing. It’s been so long since I’ve felt anything at all, and then you came along, dragging the sunshine with you through my dark, dark world, and changed everything. I do love you, Fyn. I love you more than I ever dreamed possible.”

Fyn took his hand. “Then what is it?”

“It’s been so long, Fyn. So very long. I’m not...” He sighed, but he threaded their fingers together. “I’m not sure.... I mean, I want to be intimate with you. I want that with you. Very much. But you have to know, it’s been a long time for me.”

Fyn bit back a smile. “Well, it’s been forever for me,” he said. “Because I’ve never been intimate with anyone.”

Hadeom’s gaze shot to his. “Never?”

Fyn laughed. “Who would you rather I have sex with? My not-gay best friend or my brother?”

“Oh.” Hadeom made a face. “When you put it like that.”

“And anyway,” Fyn said with a laugh, “this conversation began because I said I enjoyed feeling you in my arms. That’s all. I liked holding you while you slept. I’d like to do that again tonight, by all means, but maybe we could work up to... other things.”

Hadeom blushed again and nodded. “I’d like that too.”

“Though I will have you know,” Fyn said, feeling bold, “I also have great animal instincts, so I kinda feel like my body will know what to do.”

Hadeom let out a breathy laugh. “Oh yeah, like what?”

“Like bending you over and mounting you. I’m a buck, after all. Is that how it works, in human form?”

Hadeom blinked several times in succession, his cheeks now stained in a deep blush that was definitely not from the fire. “Uh, yes. That would be one way, yes.” He swallowed hard.

Fyn wasn’t sure if that was doubt, hesitancy, or just nervousness on Hadeom’s part. For reasons Fyn couldn’t explain, he wasn’t nervous at all. “It’s okay if you don’t want to do anything, today or ever. I’ll love you regardless.”

Hadeom laughed. “Not ready? Fyn, I’ve waited an eternity for you.” Then he chewed on the inside of his lip as he smiled. “Your not-gay best friend and your brother, huh? I’ll have you know that I lived through Greek and Roman times, and those two qualifiers weren’t deal breakers for a lot of people.”