Page 10 of 10 Things I Hate About Mistletoe

Something about talking to Pike about Nick’s wife made him twitch. If he found someone who made him want to settle down, Anthony wouldn’t want another man carrying a torch for her.

“Nick is gonna beat your ass if you don’t stop pining for Noel.”

“I’m not pining. I’m stating facts.” Pike sighed loudly and leaned against the front of Adventures in Mistletoe while Anthony unlocked the door. “Maybe I pick emotionally unavailable women because then it’s not a reflection on me that they can’t love me back.”

They stepped through the door, and Anthony shut it, locking it behind them. “Sally was emotionally unavailable?”

Pike made a face. “Sally was always looking for something better. I think she only stuck around because of my oral skills.”

Anthony grabbed a pen off the counter and threw it at Pike. “Shut the fuck up, man. I don’t want to hear that.”

Pike laughed maniacally. “You’re such a prude.”

“No, I don’t want to hear about your cunnilingus talent.”

“I love you, man. You always use big words when you’re uncomfortable.” Pike set his coffee on the counter. “I’m going to take a piss before I head out to meet the Martin party. Any chance they have a single daughter over twenty-one?”

“They’re all in their fifties. It’s a bird-watching hike.”

“Hmmm, gmilf. That could work.”

“You’re a sick man! Do not hit on our customers,” Anthony hollered as Pike headed for the back.

“I can’t shut this down, bro!” Pike yelled back, laughing.

Chapter Three

Delilah spent the day curled up on the couch with her corgi mix, Leia, watching Shadow and Bone and scrolling through vibrators on her phone. Although she loved the show, not even the evil sexiness of Ben Barnes could banish the dark cloud of depression that hovered over her.

Leigh Bardugo is so lucky, Delilah thought. She’d created these amazing worlds that people loved, that were so exciting she’d been picked up by a major streaming service. Delilah would never write anything clever or intriguing enough to get published, let alone have her book turned into a hit show or a blockbuster movie. She was a sad sack of sand, dull and irritating.

Delilah paused on an interesting toy that looked like a unicorn with a very long tongue and added it to her cart. At least if she was going to be a whiny loser, she could have satisfying orgasms.

Her doorbell rang, and Leia bounded from the couch, her furry butt wobbling back and forth as she ran for the front door. Delilah huffed off the couch and shuffled to the front of her two-bedroom home, slipping her phone into her pocket. She’d have to finish her order later.

Delilah checked the clock on the microwave and saw it was after six in the evening. Not really caring who it was, she answered the door in her Star Wars Life Day snuggy to find her best friend standing on her porch with a bottle of peach wine and a bag of chocolate.

“I brought the best medicine to cure any awful day,” Holly said with a wide grin.

Delilah stared at the label of her favorite wine, which featured a country girl in cutoff shorts holding two large peaches in front of her chest, and sighed. “Not even boob wine and Dove can banish my melancholy.”

“Oh, come on.” Holly stepped past her, heading toward the kitchen with Leia dogging her heels. “Tell me what happened.”

“It doesn’t even matter,” Delilah said, laying her forehead across the cool countertop in her kitchen. “I suck at life.”

“Stop avoiding my question and explain yourself so that I can help you come up with a solution.”

Delilah rested her cheek on the surface to scowl at Holly. “You can’t fix this.”

“Please, I should legally change my name to Ms. Fixit. Now spill.”

She straightened up, rubbing her hands over her damp eyes. “I got another rejection letter for my book proposal.”

“And?” Holly tossed the chocolate onto the counter and opened the top drawer in Delilah’s kitchen with an arched brow. “That just means they weren’t a good fit and couldn’t appreciate your genius. Next.”

“I walked in on my bestie and her boyfriend getting it on.”

Holly giggled. “It was funny but not your fault.”