Page 196 of Huntress

“You can’t even look at me when you lie!” he nearly shouted. Clenching her teeth together, Elsie channeled all her fury at the situation into her expression.

“What is there to look at? I’ll never love a demon, but especially not you, Saint. You’re pathetic, following me around like a lost puppy because you can’t get over the deaths of some mutts you once knew. How much more simply do I need to explain this to get through your thick skull? I was using you. I need a man who’ll stand by my side, not hide behind my back.”

“What are we doing out here, then?” he demanded bitterly before snatching up the shovel. “Are you planning on burying me out here?”

“I’m giving you one chance,” she answered. “I’ve had my fun with you, and now I’m over it. Go claim your freedom. It’s what you’ve wanted all this time.” She waved her hands toward the woods. “If not, you can join your family in the afterlife.”

She watched as Saint shifted painfully from one foot to the next. She’d never seen him stand so small, his entire countenance had furled. His body was hurting him as much as his heart, but if she played this right, he’d have plenty of time to recover without fear of the hunters coming after him.

“You love me,” Saint reiterated, but he took a step back. “I know you do. I’ll go, because for some reason it’s the only solution you have to whatever problem you’re not telling me about. But Mistress, I’ll be waiting. Come home to me, no matter how long it takes. And then you can spend the rest of our lives making up for what you’ve just done.”

“Don’t bother waiting, there’s nothing left for you to hope for, Mutt,” Elsie scoffed. “I never want to see you again.”

“I refuse to believe that’s true.”

“Believe what you want. You’ll figure it out, eventually.”

“I love you, Elspeth Raissa Chantraine.”

“Leave. Now.”

Saint hesitated, as though he couldn’t make up his mind.

“NOW!” Elsie shouted. Her heart was shredding to pieces, and if he refused to back down one more time, she’d crumble. She’d beg his forgiveness, and Gods damn it, it was too late for that now.

She mentally seized her end of their bond, tearing at it, twisting and pulling, trying to make it snap. Saint gasped, and she cried out, both of them grabbing their chests. Elsie’s expression hardened, and she gripped the bond tight, ripping it out until the ends frayed.

“Elsie! Stop it before you do something you can’t take back,” he wheezed, retreating another step. His eyes held hers desperately, so she tore her gaze away. “I’ll go. But it doesn’t change anything. I love you, and that is never going to change. Come find me.”

Elsie stood in silence for several long minutes, not daring to look up. He was gone, and she couldn’t bear the sight of an empty space where he’d once stood.

Mechanically, she pulled brush out by the roots and lit it on fire, then reached for the shovel and started digging. But she didn’t dig a hole for a raven, she built one for a man the size of a wolfhound demon. She dug deep, until blood oozed through the bandages and through her clothes, but she didn’t stop until the top of the hole loomed over her head.

The distance grew between them, and the wound it caused was deeper than the grave she’d dug herself. He’d come back if she called out to him. He’d know.

She put a hand against the dirt and reminded herself of what she stood in. This was exactly the grave she’d have to dig for him if Mordane or anyone else found out what she’d done. Better to bury a memory than the man she loved more than life.

Elsie finally lost the tenuous hold she had on her emotions. Fat tears hit the dirt, and within seconds she was gasping for air. Falling to the ground, she curled into a ball and screamed, trying her best to hold herself together when all she wanted to do was fall apart.

The bond hurt like hellfire, struggling to pull them back together, and though she’d slammed a wall between them to stop him from feeling her, the bond rebelled. It throbbed and twisted, each breath reminding her of what she’d done.

She knew exactly what direction and how far she would have to travel to find him again. Elsie could go to him and make things right, but where would that leave them other than right back where they’d started?

She needed another week to heal, and she’d be facing a trial after killing Clairemont. The hunters had too many reasons to kill Saint, and there was no way he’d survive within that barrier without her to protect him.

She went over her points obsessively, desperate to convince herself that she’d done what was right. That Saint would be better off without her. Out there, he’d live a far better life than the shit he’d had to put up with here. He could go home, if he wanted.

The tears wouldn’t stop, and the pain in her chest worsened as the hard, racking sobs jolted her injury. She’d said terrible, horrible things, and he’d accepted it, still putting her first.

Because he loved her.

That thought alone made her wish for death. Right then and there. She hadn’t loved and appreciated him enough in the time she’d had with him. She’d never deserved him in the first place.

Elsie sobbed until she lost her voice. She sobbed until the tears ran dry and all that remained was soft, miserable hiccups and whimpers of pain. She sobbed until the sky turned dark and the air turned cold.

At some point she realized that he wasn’t coming back, and while that sent her back into a fit of tears, it was enough to make her move. Climbing out of the hole, she found a fallen tree with rotted-out branches. Hauling those branches over and shoving them inside, along with most of the ashes from what she’d burned, Elsie buried them along with the raven, creating a mound of dirt that was of satisfactory size.

She’d barely finished covering it up when the painfully bright beams of two flashlights blinded her. “Elsie!” Marley’s voice called out. The healer sounded relieved. “We’ve been looking for you everywhere!”