Page 47 of She Who Was Once the Sea

That was never the issue.

The problem I ran into, time and time again, was that nothing ever seemed worth doing. Not in the long term. What was the point of continuing to climb the ladder at work if every raise was counteracted by inflation, so I was never able to leave the same, small apartment? What was the point of pursuing a relationship if the corrosive effects of time would inevitably leave it in shambles?

I would work as long as I could, until the pointlessness of the pursuit consumed me, and I found myself bored, apathetic, and unable to continue pushing.

But joining the Fratelli had felt different. Suddenly, I was part of something bigger than myself, older than any business model I’d been trained to respect.

When I’d stumbled upon that YouTube series months ago, about an ancient order of monster hunters who would sponsor a visa to Italy, I’d thought I’d finally found my calling.

I’d be fighting for something good.

I’d be protecting innocent people.

I could leave behind a legacy.

I hadn’t wholly believed the stories as I went through the remote orientation. But something kept pushing me forward. I had rolled my eyes at the history of Rossaia and its entanglement with mermaids, but the idea of getting out of Chicago, out of the United States, had been too tempting to disregard.

Something, I had known, was waiting for me in this ancient city. And for once, I knew I needed to follow through on its call.

Unfortunately, doing so became the reason I found myself wandering aimlessly through the city in the middle of the night, marching in concentric circles until I looked up and saw the front door of the Fratelli house in front of me.

I wasn’t even sure if it was safe for me to go inside. Would any of the brothers recognize what I’d become? I could hide the elongated canines behind my lips as long as I didn’t talk or smile, but what if I forgot? What if I let myself slip…

How quickly would the other Fratelli take to turn on me?

A bitter laugh clawed its way out of my throat as I unlocked the door and pushed my way inside. Because wasn’t it me who had turned on them?

At the back of my throat, something burned. It was surprising how insistent the thirst was. Despite having drunk from Marella just a few hours ago (I had to rub my eyes as I waited for the elevator to avoid dwelling too long on that experience) the discomfort that had overwhelmed me was already beginning to creep back into my body.

How was it possible that the mermaids could subsist on one night of feeding for the entire month?

As I exited the elevator on my floor, I made a mental note to look into that question the next time I searched with Lucas—

There shouldn’t be a next time, that quiet, scared voice whispered.

I nodded my head at a passing brother as I rushed towards my room. Once I was safely inside, I closed the door firmly behind me and locked it.

I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

Unfortunately, my dreams were filled with images of dark black hair and bright green eyes and sharp, dangerous nails trailing gently down my back.

"She’s his niece?"

"That’s what he said."

"There’s no way. She’s way too gorgeous."

The conversation was nonsensical. Who was talking? Whose niece was here? Why were they talking about her? And why were they talking directly outside of my room?

My mouth felt like cotton as I rubbed sleep from my eyes and slowly sat up.

Two members of the Fratelli were standing outside my door, having an obnoxiously loud conversation about someone.

I stood up and stumbled towards the door, ready to tell them off. I couldn’t tell how long I’d been sleeping—the shadows seemed longer inside the room, but everything still felt hot.

When I flung the door open, I was met with two startled men. I recognized them as two new recruits. They were both younger than me. I was pretty sure they’d never been out on actual patrol yet.

Their wide eyes softened into amusement when they saw it was me and not a more senior member.