Page 37 of She Who Was Once the Sea

"Face me yourself, you coward," I muttered under my breath as I walked away from the sentry. Behind me, I could have sworn I heard the slight scrape of stone. And when I turned, the angel was gone.

Chapter 17 - Garrett

The library smelled like mold and rotten eggs. Regardless of how many windows I opened, and despite the small rotating fan Lucas had set in the corner of the room, the stench permeated everything we touched. The longer we stayed inside, the more certain I became that I would be carrying that smell home with me.

It pooled up from the floor, where glass panels revealed historic stonework preserved from centuries past. The library was built atop an ancient labyrinth of old tunnels, their purpose long forgotten, their walls crumbling despite the preservation efforts of the city. Periodically throughout the day, tourists would make their way down to the library basement to view the ruins, but they’d leave as quickly as they appeared, always chased away by the smell.

And I was sure that we were beginning to contribute to that negative smell.

But I’d never cared less about hygiene in my entire life. Even as I began to smell myself through the heat of the afternoon, as my sweat permeated through my heavy black robes, I kept pulling books down from shelves one at a time, thumbing through dusty pages in search of anything that might help us help Marella.

And, by extension, me.

I couldn’t tell Lucas what had happened to me. I kept my mouth closed as much as possible. The new teeth were less pronounced than they had been immediately after drinking blood that morning, but they were still noticeably longer than human canines, and Lucas was familiar enough with the monsters that he’d certainly piece together my predicament.

And I wasn’t quite sure whether I wanted him to know. The man had been secretly searching for a way to break the curse for decades. By all accounts, I should trust him above anyone else when it came to this… problem.

But I could barely admit to myself what I’d become. I couldn’t even think it.

I was a monster.

As the word echoed through my mind, Marella’s face appeared alongside it. Was I truly a monster if I was like her?

Because despite what I’d been taught by the Fratelli, the truth of the matter was that Marella was not, in fact, a monster. Surely, that meant that I wasn’t either.

Then why was the smell of Lucas’s blood making me increasingly hungry? Each time he stepped in front of the small fan, the acrid stench of the room was briefly replaced by the salty tang of earth and copper—the smell of life and death. The longer we stayed in this room, the more uncomfortable I became.

After a few hours, it was enough to make my skin itch, and I couldn’t stop myself from fidgeting as I sat across the table from Lucas, each of us focused on a stack of books. I could barely register the words I was reading.

"Are you okay?" His words punched a hole in the quiet, making me jump.

"What?"

He frowned. "Are you okay? You’re fidgeting like crazy."

I did my best to move my lips as little as possible, trying to hide my teeth. "I’m just tired," I lied. "Trying to keep myself focused, you know?"

His eyes bounced back and forth between mine questioningly before he glanced down at his watch. "Oh shit," he let out a low whistle. "It’s nearly seven thirty. We’ve been here all day."

I released a breath, glad for the excuse. "Maybe it’s time to go home? Surely the library will be closing soon." I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a tourist walk through the room.

Lucas nodded, slamming the book he was reading closed. "Tomorrow’s another day." He smiled wanly at me, like he was repeating a private joke. "I’ve been telling myself that for decades."

I followed suit and closed the book on the table in front of me. Because these were considered valuable artifacts, we wouldn’t be allowed to bring them home with us. So, with a sigh, I set it back in its place on the shelf, making a mental note of where I’d left off.

"Do you want to grab dinner with me?" Lucas asked as we both stood, him turning off the rotating fan and me brushing dust from my robes.

As if on cue, my stomach rumbled loudly enough that I knew he would have heard. But I also knew that this was a hunger that wouldn’t be satisfied at the local osteria.

I winced as I answered. "No, thanks." I searched for an excuse. "I’m going to go see Marella."

It wasn’t until the words had left my mouth that I realized I hadn’t told him her name yet. His eyes widened for a moment, so quickly that I almost thought I had imagined it.

He just nodded, smiling slyly. "As you should."

We were silent as we climbed the stairs to exit the library. I was so focused on the information I’d read that I nearly forgot to round the corner to the second flight of stairs, and as I tried to continue straight, Lucas bumped into me. Something hard and heavy in his pocket hit my hip. It felt like a book.

He laughed and redirected me playfully, pulling the pocket away surreptitiously. "Watch where you’re going."