Page 511 of Reign

There’s warmth beneath me. Light above me. Luciano’s arms around me.

There’s my mother’s dress against my skin and the man I’m going to marry holding me inside a memory he helped make gentle again.

“I wasn’t sure,” he says quietly.

“About what?”

“Whether this would be beautiful or cruel.”

My throat tightens.

“It’s both.”

His jaw shifts.

I touch his face before he can misunderstand.

“It’s supposed to be both.” My thumb moves over his cheek. “Because missing her is both.”

His eyes search mine. “Is it too much?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

I look above us.

Mamma’s image has faded, leaving sunlight moving through blue ripples again. I can still smell her. I can still hear the song, but neither one traps me in the past. They exist here, inside the home I chose.

Inside the life I chose.

“Do you know what everyone does on my birthday?” I ask.

“What?”

“They try to distract me from her. They fill the whole day so I won’t have time to remember why it hurts to be alive.”

Luciano brushes his knuckles beneath my damp eye.

“It hurts you to be alive?”

“On this day? Usually. But not today.”

“You never have to forget her, Elena. She’s everywhere, in everything you do and everything you are.”

My face crumples.

“Oh, damn it.”

He holds me tighter when I fold into him, wrapping both arms around my body as another sob tears free.

“I love you,” I tell him against his chest.

His mouth presses into my hair. “I love you too, princesa.”

“This is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever given me.”

His hand moves slowly down my back. “Yeah?”