Page 46 of A Song for You

She smiles sadly. “Then don’t. Just…you go that way, and I’ll go this way,” she says, pointing us in opposite directions. She leans in one more time and brushes a kiss against my lips, then she lets go and walks away.

Twenty-Seven

Cat

Look After You by The Fray

Like an insane person, I show up at Carter’s apartment on Sunday night. “Can I stay here?”

He takes one look at me and ushers me inside. “Sure, you can stay in Hanson’s room. I’ll text him and make sure he’s not coming back.”

With a grateful nod, I follow him into the kitchen. Jay won’t be back. I don’t know the reasons behind his hatred for my father, but I can’t imagine he’d come back here after the way we left things today. And because I can’t be with him, I’m going to lie in his bed and sleep on his pillow like a damn creep. Pathetic.

“What’s going on with you and your roommate?” Carter asks after he pockets his phone. “He says it’s fine, by the way. He’s not coming back to Providence. Stay as long as you need.”

I should be embarrassed. Now Jay knows precisely where I am, and he probably knows why I came. But I don’t even care.

I shrug. “I don’t know. Just need a little space.”

“Want me to order food?” he offers.

I shake my head. “Nah, I’m tired.” I point to the hallway with a thumb. “I’m just going to get some rest.”

And lie in the bed of my would-be boyfriend. The one man I want, but the man I can’t have.

I hate our father and we share DNA. I can only imagine what my father did to the Hanson family. Likely a business deal gone wrong. Nothing would surprise me. Edward James is a scab.

Carter hesitates. “I know I’m not generally who you would turn to, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” He regards me carefully, seriously, his eyes soft but full of worry, a small frown marring his face. I don’t think I’ve seen him wear such a pensive expression since we were kids. Our mother’s death affected us all differently. Carter hides his pain behind a flippant personality. After we lost her, everything became surface level for him. His heart broke so thoroughly from her loss that he couldn’t handle letting anyone else in.

I offer him a small smile. “I appreciate it. But I just need sleep. I promise.”

“It’s the first door on the left,” he offers, holding an arm out, palm open.

Nodding, I hoist my overnight bag higher on my shoulder and take a deep breath before trudging down the hall and pushing open Jay’s door. This may be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done, but I refuse to overthink it. Instead, I slip off my clothes, slide under his covers, and snuggle into his pillow.

And then I cry myself to sleep.

Monday morning, I foolishly scour the train platform for a blond man in a suit with a smirk and an extra coffee in hand.

He’s not here.

Why would he be?

With my headphones on and iPod in hand, I click on Kitten’s Songs and listen to the four he uploaded over the last two weeks on repeat.

At the office, Dexter is propped up against Sophie’s desk while the two of them have their heads tipped close and talk in low voices, smiling at one another. It’s adorable and, oddly, not as heartbreaking as one would expect after yesterday’s events.

“Good morning, beautiful Cat,” Sophie singsongs.

Dexter straightens. “I’ll let you catch up. Have a good day.” His eyes heat as they roam over her once more, and then he walks off.

I squeal. “That looked promising.”

Sophie tries hard to school her smile, but her elation is so intense it can’t be contained. “He is something else. How was your weekend?” she asks, studying me with a hip propped against her desk.

So much has happened since I left her standing at the bar with Dexter on Friday. For all she knows, I spent the weekend in bed with Jay. If only that alternate reality were true.

I shake my head. “We ended it.” It sounds so foolish out loud. There was nothing to end. We were nothing. But nothing doesn’t keep a person up at night. Nothing doesn’t haunt every thought. One doesn’t curl into nothing’s bed and dream of only him.