Page 240 of A Song for You

“But…” I shake my head, at a loss for words.

“There wasn’t a day while we were apart that I didn’t pick out a song. An inordinate number of them are titled ‘Only you.’ You’d be amazed by how many there are. My favorite is by Parmalee. Actually, I take that back. I love Harry Connick Jr.’s too. That’s a classic.”

My heart stutters in my chest and my head spins at his admission.

“Honestly,” he continues, taking a step closer, “it kept you close. Even when my heart was breaking without you. They’re not all sad, though. I got glimpses into your life. I’d see your smiling face in a magazine, and it would turn my week around. Even while we were apart, you’d give me enough light to make it through the next dark spell. To keep me going. Because, Cat, many days, I wondered why I was still alive. What my purpose was, when the only person I’ve ever loved hated me.”

“I didn’t hate you,” I croak.

He chuckles as he wipes a tear from my cheek. The gentleness of his touch is a contradiction to the rough pad of his thumb. “You hated me, Kitten, and I deserved it.”

I shake my head. “Even then, I knew there was a reason. I didn’t understand it…and it broke me…but I never hated you. Swear it.”

Another piece of my heart rights itself when, hair falling over his eyes, he ducks so we’re eye to eye and gives me that shy smile, the real one that he saves for only Chloe and me.

“Almost five thousand songs on the playlist. It will take me an eternity to get through this,” I say with a breathy laugh.

“My goal is to make sure you never do.”

“Why?” My heart pounds wildly at the reverence I see in his expression.

“Because I plan to give you one a day for the rest of our lives. For as long as I’m alive, Cat, my heart is yours. Until my last breath, you’ll have music in your life.”

“Jay,” I whisper, stunned. All I can do is breathe through the emotions coursing through me.

“Go to the first song, Kitten.”

Tears blur my vision as I swipe aggressively.

But when I reach the first song, the air burns in my chest. It’s not “Poker Face.”

“How?” I ask, sure he changed it.

“Even then, I knew.”

My heart beats wildly as I stare at the title.

“Marry Me” by Train.

“That day, I wanted to blurt out those words. Marry me. I wanted to drop to my knees and beg you to spend your life with me, but I barely got up the nerve to ask your name. And when I did, you told me to earn it.” He chuckles.

While I brush at the tears cascading down my face, he hits Play. Then he gently takes the phone from my shaking hand and sets it on the ledge beside us.

And before I know it, he’s on his knee, the blue of his eyes shimmering like a glacier under a clear, sunny sky as he gazes up at me. “Marry me, Kitten. Grow old with me. Give me the opportunity to give you a song every day for the rest of your life. Because I love you. I’m hopelessly in love with you,” he says with an almost exasperated laugh. “Completely. Irrevocably. Head over fucking heels in love with you,” he murmurs. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m begging you to marry me anyway.”

His expression falls when I shake my head, but I’m quick to explain. “You are everything I deserve, Jay. Only you,” I whisper.

“Is that a yes?” Chloe shouts from behind me, making me jump.

I crane my neck, spotting our daughter standing at the door with Cynthia and Sophie. Every one of them is grinning at us.

“You did good,” I whisper, turning back to him. With a nod, I hold my hand out, motioning for him to stand. “It’s a heck yes!” I shout with a laugh.

Jay lets out a loud whoop and jumps to his feet. Then he’s pulling me into his arms and spinning me. We’re a whirlwind of energy, and just like in that moment I first pressed my lips to his, the season wraps around us. The air changes, and the fallen leaves on the rooftop kick up and flutter as we spin.

He presses his lips to mine, lighting me up from the tips of my fingers to my toes. When he pulls away slightly, I go in for one more.

“May I?” He holds out his hand, palm up, showing me the underside of a ring he has on his pinky finger.