Page 199 of A Song for You

Heal by Tom Odell

Istand mere feet from Cat, wishing more than anything that I could take her into my arms. But the anxiety etched into her every move and the way her shoulders are hunched as she speaks into her phone keep me in place. It doesn’t stop me from straining to hear her side of the conversation, though.

“Listen, Chlo, you and I need to talk later. Things are going to change a bit, but I want you to know that no matter what, you always have me.”

I shuffle closer and swallow thickly when she drops her chin to her chest.

“Don’t be scared. It’s all going to be fine, okay? I love you.”

What the hell is she telling our daughter? If she’s making her hate me before I even have a chance to get to know her, I’ll lose it.

My heart beats hard in my chest, and without thinking, I grab her arm and yank so she spins my way. She startles when she recognizes me, and the phone clatters to the ground.

I stare her down as she quickly bends to grab her phone and pockets it.

“What did you say to her?” I ask, feeling desperate.

“That’s not—” She looks away from me. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

I let out a haughty laugh. “You made it sound like you’re dying. She’s going to hate me.”

She holds her head high and glares. “I agreed to your terms. What more do you want from me?”

My patience snaps. “I fucking did this for you, Cat.”

“Don’t,” she scoffs darkly. “Don’t you fucking dare pin what you did to my family on me, you selfish prick.”

It’s like a slap. I grasp her arm, desperate to get our connection back. To show her I’m still the man she made love to only days ago. “Don’t do this, Cat. Don’t shut me out. I swear to God, I did what I had to do for our family.”

Her jaw is locked so tight I’m afraid she’ll crack a tooth. “As did I. You can dictate where I live and what I do on a daily basis. Hell, you can fuck me whenever you want. I’ve given up everything to protect my family,” she fumes. “But you can’t force me to respect you. To trust you. To love you.” She screams the last few words, garnering attention from passersby. “You wouldn’t know love if it smacked you in the face.”

My stomach sinks. What did I do?

I’d give my life for this woman. Everything I’ve done has been for her. I’ve clearly fucked up royally, and I have no idea how to make it right.

But she’s wrong.

I love her. I know love. Maybe the way I love isn’t enough. Maybe it’s not right. Because she’s correct about one thing: it’s an obsession. Consuming. My love for her dictates my entire life. At times, I can’t even see straight, can’t think, because of it.

But if she keeps our daughter from me, I’ll never forgive her.

I don’t know how to make sense of it. I don’t know how to see reason.

I’m so fucking angry.

We stare at one another, chests heaving, neither of us willing to back down, until Frank interrupts.

“You two going to come inside or stare at the building all day?”

Without a word, we turn and step inside. I’m not sure how this meeting will go. All I know is that I’m holding on by a thread. And I’m fucking pissed.

Forty-One

Cat

Set Fire to the Rain by Adele

Beside me, Cash’s leg bounces as he signs the papers Jay presented moments ago. Few words have been spoken. We’ve communicated in grunts and glares for the most part. For my brother’s sake, I’m doing my best to hide behind a mask of tranquility. He needs to think that I’m happy about this wedding, even though I’m anything but. Inside, I’m shaking. Scared shitless.