Page 194 of A Song for You

His jaw tics. “Don’t push me, Cat. I’ll give you time to figure out how to sell this to Chloe, but you will sell it to her. I’ve lost twelve years with my daughter,” he says, his voice cracking as he turns toward the horizon. After a long moment, his steely eyes lock on me again. “Your family cost me twelve years with her. You should hate them as much as I do for what they took from us.”

“But why, Jay? What aren’t you telling me? Why did my grandfather interfere?”

Eyes wild, he yells, “Because the Mob would have killed you!”

What? Try as I may, I can’t comprehend a scenario where that could be true. “Why would the Mob come after me?”

“Because you had their money,” he whispers, all the while scowling like he’s angry with me for having to explain.

“What money?”

“The money I planted there.”

I suck in a breath through my teeth, and black dots dance across my vision. “What?”

Jay rakes both hands through his hair viciously, like he’s holding himself together. “I was ten when I found them. Your father and my mother.” It’s barely a whisper when it comes out. A rasp. A plea for me to stay rooted in place. To force myself not to run. Because he knows that’s what the mention of my father does.

As if I could move after the revelation he just handed me.

“From that moment on, my sole focus in life was to destroy your father.” The words send a cold shiver down my spine. “Revenge. That’s what you were.”

The admission is like a punch to the stomach, leaving me gasping for air.

“Until I met you,” he says, his words laced with pain, “and I fell so fucking in love with you, I couldn’t see straight. Or maybe I finally could. But I was too far gone. Too involved. Too beholden to the past to untangle it.”

“What did you do?” I whisper as tears blur my vision. I’ve known from the beginning that Jay hates my father. I’ve always assumed it’s because of business. But love makes so much more sense. Love is always the root of the most heinous crimes. But Jay was truly capable of this one? Stealing my heart, my virginity, my soul…for revenge?

I was nothing but revenge.

Unlike moments ago, his face is devoid of emotion as he tells the story. Like he’s rushing through it to get it over with as quickly as possible. “At my father’s request—ha, more like demand—I planted an SD card on Carter’s computer. I thought it would only implicate your father, but I was wrong.” His eyes dart to mine. “The money my father stole was in your account. When everything went down, they’d go after you. Yours was the name on my father’s lips when I shot him in the head to keep him quiet.”

A sob rattles through my chest. I break for the ten-year-old who witnessed something horrible and whose life was destroyed so quickly. I cry over the death of the illusion I never let go of, the hope I held on to—that Jay and I were soulmates, that we were something more. That he really loved me.

And I cry because in some sick way, he did. He killed his father to protect me.

But if this is what love is, I don’t want it.

I’ve always convinced myself that Chloe was the product of love. That she was the best parts of us, the reason we were meant to spend those months together. The reason I endured everything else.

But I was nothing more than a plot in his revenge. A part of his scheme. And he let me go. In the end, his revenge was more important.

I can’t take much more, but I need to make sure Chloe is safe before I end this conversation. “Why did you come back after all this time?”

Jay startles at the question. As if he thought I’d fall to the ground and thank him for coming back to me.

“I thought you were safe. Because all those who threatened you are dead,” he says, his eyes boring into me, asking me to understand. “Because it’s our time. We were supposed to be together, Cat. I know this is a lot, and I’m sure you have more questions⁠—”

I hold up a hand to cut him off. “No, Jay. We’re done. Finally.” Incredibly, all I feel is relief at that admission. “I finally understand your obsession. Your”—I choke over the lump in my throat—“devotion. It never made sense to me. For years it burned me. How easily you went from loving me to nothing. How you chased after me, how you refused to take no for an answer…” I shake my head and pull my shoulders back. “You weren’t dedicated to me. You were dedicated to revenge.”

Revenge is one thing I understand completely. I have been dedicated to it too. For the last few months, it’s all I’ve thought about. But now? I realize it was all a waste. I don’t want revenge. I want him to cease to exist. Instead, he’ll be my husband.

Jay shakes his head fiercely. “No, Cat. You aren’t listening. Nothing was about revenge once I met you. Once I fell for you, my vengeance became a subplot in my life. A secondary storyline. And when you told me who you were? It became the thing I had to overcome so I could have you.” He steps closer, ducking so I’m forced to look at him. “But I did, Cat. I gave it all up. I told my father I was done with his plans, done with it all.”

“And then what happened?” I ask, tearing my gaze from him. “Because obviously you didn’t give it all up. You’re still Jonathan Hanson, CEO of Hanson Liquors, and now you own a controlling stake in James Whiskey too. Looks like it all worked out.”

“Mia happened.”

My blood runs cold as I remember what my grandfather said so many years ago. Jay cheated on me with Mia. She also has his child.