Page 25 of To Obsess

“Well, hi, pretty girl,” he laughs, face against my neck as he squeezes me tight. We haven’t been able to see each other in nearly a week due to work schedules, so I’m even more excited to see him than normal. “You smell divine, Violet.”

“I could say the same!” I respond, trying to ignore the slight burn rising up my neck. “I’ve missed you.” I pull back, cupping his face in my hands. He leans in for a quick kiss, making butterflies flutter to life in my stomach.

He squeezes me once more before releasing me and slipping his hand into mine. “I’ve missed you too, babe.” He leads me down the stairs and to the passenger side of his truck before opening the door to usher me inside. Once he’s in the driver’s seat, he quickly turns the truck around and makes his way down the driveway.

Dinner was phenomenal, even if we did have to make an hour trip to get to the restaurant Mason chose tonight. Filet mignon, the best Caesar salads, and desserts to die for. As per usual, there wasn’t a dull moment the entire evening.

Any time we’re together, it feels like we’re the only two people around, and tonight was no exception. That’s part of the reason I think we’re ready to move forward with this relationship. Everything with Mason is so easy—nearly as easy as breathing, in fact. It feels like he’s always been a part of my life, even though we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple months at this point. Maybe it’s true when they say ‘when you know, you know.’

It’s all I can think about as the gravel crunches beneath his tires as he slows to a stop in front of my house. Slipping my key into the lock, turning the knob, and stepping into the entryway pushes my thoughts in a totally different direction, though not any less satisfying—his skin on mine, his hands in my hair, the press of his lips on every sensitive part of me.

Instead of being swept away by the anticipation, I lead him to the kitchen where I pour us each a glass of wine. As I unlock the back door and step out onto the porch, he wraps me in his arms from behind, careful not to spill our drinks. I bask in the feel of his arms around me, the warmth of his chest against my back. I could get used to him being around more.

Before I have a chance to derail the entire night, I step out of his embrace and turn to face him. With a quick swig for courage, I lean against the railing and catch his gaze. “So,” I begin, suddenly not sure where to start this conversation.

“So?” A smirk lifts one corner of his lips in the most cocky look I’ve ever seen him pull.

I roll my eyes, fighting the embarrassment suddenly growing in my chest. This is what I want. I just have to tell him, I reassure myself. With a deep breath in, and a slow exhale, I try again. “I’ve been thinking.”

His eyebrows rise, but he stays silent, waiting for me to go on.

“We’ve been seeing each other for a while now. I know we had the talk about only seeing each other, but I wanted to discuss what that actually means so we are on the same page.”

“Okay? I thought we were on the same page already,” he responds, taking one of the seats.

“I think we are,” I rush, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. “I…I just want to be entirely sure. I’ve been overthinking it a little, I think.”

With that, his face lights up in a slow smile, bringing that twinkle I can’t get enough of back to his eyes. “I’m listening,” he says, taking another drink.

I close my eyes, count to five, and push through the rest of my thoughts. “I want to make sure we have the same end goals in mind. I’m not fond of wasting time, so if we have different future plans, I’d rather know that now.” I pause, making sure he’s still listening. “I have this podcast going on with Abby, the bookstore, and this house. I’m not really willing to give any of that up, but that isn’t something we’ve talked about yet. I need to know what your dealbreakers are.”

“Well, I love that you have all of those things going for you. Truly, I do. I’m not ready to give up my place or my job just yet. Not to say that I won’t ever be willing to do that to make a relationship with you work, but that’s not on the table right now.”

“Oh god, of course not! Ugh this is not going how I had planned out in my head,” I say, turning to face the backyard instead of looking at him. I have to be redder than a tomato right now. How embarrassing. “I just don’t want to waste time if there’s no chance of us working long-term,” I say in an attempt to clarify. Even if it is stupid to talk about such serious things so early into a budding relationship, I can’t help but feel like this needs to happen now.

I hear the screech of his chair sliding against the hardwood of the porch but don’t move. Only a heartbeat later, his hand is on my shoulder, turning me to face him again. “Look, I don’t know where this is going, but I do know that I really enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy our dinners out together and all of our nights in. I love the quirky things you do, like when you scrunch your nose up at the smell of a woman drenched in perfume but nearly suck flower petals into your nose when we pass them on the street. The way you clutch your hands to your chest and your face lights up when you hear my truck pull up. The way you danced in the rain last Saturday night like no one in the world was watching you.” He pushes back a strand of hair, tucking it back behind my ear. “I love watching you just be you.”

The embarrassment I was feeling melts, leaving a puddle where my heart used to be. “Well, go on!” I chide, pushing his shoulder with a laugh.

He laughs but indulges me. “I love that you walk around the house in those silly slippers with the dog ears on them, even if they are the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.” That one earns him an indignant look and a punch to that same shoulder. “I truly have enjoyed every second we’ve spent together, Violet. I don’t want that to end just because I’m not ready to commit to a ten-year plan and promise that I’ll be willing and able to quit my job and come live with you in this house when the time comes.”

Poof.

Suddenly our heart-melting conversation has fallen flat. Logically, I’m fully aware that’s a reasonable thing to say. “I get it. I think I just needed the reassurance that that’s a possibility if things go well for us going forward. At some point. I needed to know this isn’t a dead-end road, set for failure from the very beginning.” It feels stupid even as it leaves my mouth.

“I don’t have any plans for this to be a dead-end, if that’s what you’re asking,” he says, bringing his lips down to mine, pausing just before they touch to leave me the choice.

My mouth moves of its own volition, greedily taking everything he’s willing to offer, even if I don’t feel an ounce better than I did before we had this talk. If anything, I feel worse without the reassurance that we’re exclusively seeing each other. Still, we quickly move inside, wine glasses forgotten. Hell, the door remains open, even as we make our way to the living room, all fumbling mouths and roaming hands.

He takes me on the couch, the sounds of our passion dousing the outside world as if the house is unable to contain what we’re building together. And when it’s over, my body is satiated, but my mind is restless with thoughts of another man.

Chapter 24

KILLIAN

My knuckles ache as I squeeze my hands into fists at my sides, begging my rage to simmer before it boils over. The results would be nothing short of catastrophic.

I was doing so fucking well. I felt like I was making progress even. It had been nearly a week since I’d stood in the forest outside Violet’s house, but something overtook me late last night. As I stood just beyond the light of the moon, I watched in silence. I listened as she poured her heart out to the stupid fuck she seems to have a thing for lately.