Page 28 of The Editor’s Choice

I wait for him to go on, already refuting the words that haven’t even come out of his mouth. He’s lied about everything else. How am I supposed to believe anything he says now? For all I know, Emily decided she didn’t want to be with him after all, so he’s playing her to be the bad guy here so he can look slightly better in the end.

He pulls in a deep steadying breath before blowing it out in a quick exhale. Threading his fingers together, he locks eyes with me again. “You’re not safe, Jade. Em got into some trouble a while back. She’s had a problem for a while that we had no idea about. She got mixed up with some bad people and owes them a ton of money that she can’t pay back.” He pauses, giving me enough time to process the words before continuing.

“She told me she started gambling back in high school. Just small stuff at first. Scratch off tickets, pull tabs, that kind of stuff. It got worse as time went on and she started losing quite a bit of money. She traded favors for payment for about a year. Sexual favors. To all these nasty men who had a hold on her because she fucked up and got addicted to the high of winning. One thing led to another and she eventually got in way too deep.”

“Okay? That sounds like her problem?” I volley back, hellbent on not feeling any sympathy for her at this point. She made her bed. Now she has to lie in it.

“I fully agree with you,” he starts again, hesitation clear in his posture now. “But there’s where Em and I disagreed apparently. Instead of just coming to either of us for help, she tried to battle this beast on her own and lost. She was desperate for a way out, to start her life over without having to look over her shoulder constantly. So, in the end, she offered you up to them as payment.” He flinches as the gravity of the situation hits me dead center in the chest.

“She what?!” I yell, losing my composure entirely. “You’re lying to me right now. Emily’s capable of a lot of shady shit, but she would never do that. Never. I know her better than that.” Even as I deny the information, a sinking feeling takes root in my stomach. In my heart of hearts, I know he’s telling the truth.

“I’m so sorry, Jade. I had no idea. As soon as I found out, I ended things with her, but I had no clue how to tell you without admitting to everything that has been going on and I wasn’t ready to face the end of what we had.” The grief in his eyes is almost heartbreaking. The man has lost everything. “I just wanted to keep you safe. That was the most important thing. I begged her not to go through with it. She said she wouldn’t, but I have no way of knowing if she was telling the truth or not. I don’t know how to protect you,” he admits, the anguish finally taking over as the first tears spill from his red-rimmed eyes.

For the first time in quite a while, I really take him in. Really look at his face, the small wrinkles around the corners of his mouth from all the smiles and laughs during our years together. It truly does sadden me to realize our time together has come to an end and there will be no more memories to make.

However, I know my place now. And if what he says is true, I’m in more danger than I’ve ever been in before. Taking in a shaky breath, I pull myself together enough to get up and walk out of the living room, down the hall, and out the front door.

By late evening, I’ve managed absolutely nothing aside from wallowing in self-pity, wondering how my life has gotten to this point and where I’m supposed to go from here.

With no conscious thought, I eventually find myself walking into the park again. Somehow, I keep getting drawn here, back to this place I used to find safe.

I notice a silver car with rental plates on the back as I walk toward the trail to the main overlook. Weird, I think to myself before making my way to the edge of the overlook, losing myself to the rampant thoughts for only God knows how long.

Heading back toward the parking lot, I contemplate the next steps I need to take. I have nowhere to go, nothing to my name at this point. Also, I happen to be starving. I can’t even remember the last time I ate at this point.

Feet scrubbing along the dirt path, I freeze, hairs standing up along the back of my neck, suddenly alert. Within seconds, Emily comes into view on the trail, between me and the parking lot.

“Jade! My god, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” she exclaims, taking a step toward me. When I take a step back away from her, she pauses, confusion painting her beautiful face. “Jade? What the fuck?”

“Why are you here, Em?” I question, accusation clear in my eyes. I don’t want to be anywhere near her. I just wanted some space to breathe and think through everything. Not come face to face with my current nightmare.

The next instant, I’m walking down the trail back toward the parking lot. Except it isn’t the well-worn trail to the popular overlook I was just on. I’m walking down the small, mostly overgrown trail that leads to my favorite view of the river.

Gasping for air, clutching my chest, I sit straight up in my bed. The fear running through my veins is palpable, leaving my skin coated in goosebumps and sweat.

I can’t remember anything that happened between seeing Emily on the trail in front of me and walking out of the overgrown path back into the parking lot. It’s all a blur.

It takes nearly a minute to calm my rapid breaths and slow my heart rate. I can still feel it beating against my rib cage, making a futile – yet honorable – attempt at escape.

It’s still the middle of the night, judging by the darkness outside my apartment window. Holding my hands against my temples, I take a deep ragged breath, willing myself to calm down.

It was just a nightmare, I tell myself, chest still wound tight. Just a nightmare.

Chapter Sixteen

Roman

After making my way back to the apartment last night, I zoned out completely. All I really remember is staring at the wall, blank, for what seemed like hours. Nothing spinning through my head, no torturous thoughts to antagonize me. Just… nothing.

The emptiness was damn near too much to bear. I went from feeling completely carefree and happy every moment I spent with her to feeling numb and empty, a feeling I’ve spent way too many years getting comfortable with.

Except this time is different. This time, there’s an undeniable loss attached to that emptiness. An ache that is so much more than skin deep.

Fighting the feeling was futile, given all the circumstances surrounding it, so I finally caved, crawling into my bed to let the silence engulf me entirely.

Waking early this morning after a night of more tossing and turning than actually sleeping, I stretched my sore muscles, not at all ready to take on whatever bullshit the world had in store for me today.

Thinking back on the last 24 hours, I huff quietly as I force myself from the slight comfort of my bed, feeling mentally and physically drained. The night of no real rest didn’t do me any favors, nor did it help my mood for the day.