Page 55 of Catching Sparkles

I ran my tongue around my teeth, shifting my gaze down to the table. “I don’t even have another job yet.”

“So what? You’re taking some time to yourself. You know your dad and I don’t mind helping you out.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. “I appreciate it. I know it’s got to be kind of lame with me back after having the place all to yourselves.”

“It’s been really nice, actually,” she said, then chuckled at my expression. “You don’t believe that I could possibly enjoy having my beloved oldest child back in my house after being gone for 10 years?”

“I guess.”

“People want you around, honey. I don’t know at what point in your life you lost your confidence in that, but I promise it’s true. Your dad and I have really enjoyed having you home.”

She stood from her chair, making her way around the bar to stand next to me, rubbing a hand over my shoulders.

“I… I’ve liked being back, too,” I said, even though the vulnerability required to continue the conversation on its current trajectory was starting to make me feel kind of itchy. “You guys are making it easy. I appreciate it. A lot. Seriously.”

It was a surprise to me how true the statement was. There were things I didn’t love about Cherryvale, and things I’d always miss about living in a bigger city but… I wasn’t hating it nearly as much as I’d worried about. And I didn’t think it was solely because of Kendall, although he was definitely the biggest factor. It was actually kind of nice having people around that cared if I lived or died.

“Oh.” She clucked her tongue before pulling me into a tight hug against her chest. “I love you so much. Your dad and I would do anything for you and your brother. You know that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You know who else I bet wouldn’t mind having you around more?” She asked, and my eyebrows furrowed together as I waited for her to go on. When she simply tilted her chin toward my phone, still clutched against my chest to hide the screen, I snorted.

“Mom.”

“Well?” She said, raising her hands and giving me a pointed look. “Is there any particular reason you’re moping around here texting her instead of going and being with her?”

“Am I seriously moping?” I wondered, and she laughed.

“I mean this in the nicest way possible, but yes, honey. You’re moping. It’s Friday night. You’re young! She’s probably moping around the house wishing you were there, too.”

I tried to imagine Kendall moping around his fluffy, pastel palace and couldn’t quite manage it. He was better at coping with his emotions than I was. At least, I was pretty sure he was. That was probably why he was good at chilling me out when I started to feel panicky.

“Maybe,” I said doubtfully. “But it’s complicated.”

“How complicated are we talking here, Rhys?” Mom asked wryly. “Commitment issues level of complicated, or married with three kids level of complicated?”

“Christ! Neither of those, okay? It’s not like that. It’s just… It’s complicated for me.”

“Ah.”

“Are you trying to get me out of the house or something? Do you need some alone time with Dad?”

“Oh, don’t even worry about that one,” my dad advised me as he chose that moment to waltz into the room and to the fridge to grab a drink. “Your presence has not impeded our sex life whatsoever. I appreciate the concern, though.”

“Gross.”

Grimacing as my mom laughed at his blunt tendencies, hopping up to go and give him a playful smack on the arm, I dropped my forehead down onto the edge of the counter. Holding my phone under it and out of sight, I stared bullets into my text convo with Kendall. Maybe Mom was right. Why was I hesitating to go over there? I had nothing going on. And I wanted to be with him, more than anything. I was pretty sure my nervous system had never been as steady and calm as the two times I’d lounged around with him over there. Maybe it was some kind of sign.

And maybe I was just freaked out. Freaked out because I knew if I went over now, I’d end up spending the night. And if I did that, then… There wouldn’t be any more interruptions. Nothing else holding us back from really going all the way. And if we did that… There was no turning back. I wasn’t confused. I wasn’t questioning. I was… Bi? Maybe I was, anyway. I wasn’t totally sure about the rules for all that. The label didn’t matter. Probably. I liked Kendall and that was all that mattered. For now, anyway.

Ignoring the way my pulse sped up inside me, I commanded my trembling thumbs to type a message out to Kendall and send it.

What are you doing tonight?

I half-listened to my parents laughing and flirting nearby, but my heart was starting to pound in my ears as I waited for his response.

Not too much. I filmed and edited a bunch of videos today so I’m just going to relax now.