Page 80 of Knot A Chance

The door to Felix’s room opened and Reid poked his head in. “I take it you did it?”

I nodded, staring in shock as he pushed the door open, revealing Ryder on his knees on the linoleum in front of him, pulling at his chest and writhing in pain as he ripped his shirt off.

What the fuck did I do?

Chapter Twenty-Two

Felix

June: Two Days Ago

“Come on, Ryder. Where are you?” I looked out the window of my car again and gripped my thighs, hoping to get my shaking legs under control.

When I’d opened my eyes this morning, two hours after Bennett had already left for work, and I realized it was too late to change my mind and tell him about my meeting with Ryder, a pit of nausea had formed in my stomach. Not even Benny’s warmth from where he was curled up at my feet could soothe my nerves.

I wasn’t positive I’d get through this without throwing up at this rate. The thought of breaking my bond with Ryder and not knowing how my body was going to react made me nervous.

I should have told Bennett what I was doing.

If it makes me sick, he’s going to be pissed that he’s not here to take care of me.

Oh shit, what if I hurt him? What if he thinks I was keeping something from him?

You are, Felix.

Oh fuck, I need to get this over with.

I checked my phone again, cursing the lack of a message from Ryder.

He better not chicken out on me.

A gentle tap on the passenger window caught my attention and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Ryder’s bald head. I unlocked the car and he opened the door, one hand still tucked into the pocket of his leather jacket.

“You’re late,” I said. “And why did you want to do this here? Isn’t it a little morbid to break our bond in the same place where we shared our first kiss in high school?”

Ryder gave me a small smile. “I’m realizing I’m a bit of a masochist these days.”

“Well apparently I am too,” I said, shifting in my seat to turn toward him. “So how do you want to do this? I looked it up online, you just bite the same spot, right?”

“Yes, we’ll both feel the bond simmer between us and have to actively choose to break it with our minds. It’s not going to be easy or pleasant.”

The scent of vinegar filled the air. “Are you high right now?” I asked, leaning forward and sniffing him.

“No. I brought some for after though. It’s going to be fucking painful, and I’d rather not feel any of it.”

“I don’t want drugs,” I said, heart racing at the idea of being with him and so close to whatever he’d brought.

“I know that, Felix. I’m not going to fuck with your sobriety, okay? I’m also not going to join you in it because, believe it or not, I still like being high better than not being high. So, let’s just get this over with so we can both move on with our lives.”

“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. I glanced at my phone one more time.

I really should have told Bennett about this.

I’m so sorry, Bennett. I promise I’ll never hide anything again.

Ryder took my hand and I flinched, pulling back.

“Seriously?” he snarled.