Page 41 of Marriage and the Midlife Crisis

“What’s going on, Mom?” I could hear the fear in Tanner’s voice, and I wanted to smack Ryan for causing it.

“First of all, I don’t want you to driving all this way tonight, especially if you’re upset.”

“It’s only an hour’s drive, and I’m fine to drive,” Garrett declared.

“But – “

“Mom, what happened?” Garrett groaned in frustration. “What did Dad do? Cody wasn’t sure, but he said something about Dad going to Las Vegas this weekend?”

“Did he really forget your birthday?” Tanner interjected, sounding pissed.

“Look, boys, it’s complicated,” I began, and Garrett blurted out, “There’s nothing complicated about remembering your birthday, Mom. We managed it just fine.”

“OK, here’s the deal. Yes, it didn’t help that he forgot my birthday, but that’s not the real problem. Your dad and I…have grown apart over the last year or so. We’ve hit a rough patch, and that’s not uncommon in a marriage. We haven’t decided anything yet, and we won’t until we carefully consider every option.”

Neither of them said anything, but I could still hear the road noise through the line, so I knew the call hadn’t disconnected.

“I’m serious about you guys not driving all the way here tonight. I’ll just worry myself sick about you, and there’s nothing you can do anyway.”

“We can give you a hug,” Garrett offered quietly, and the tiny little corner of my heart that had still been intact shattered into a million pieces at those words.

“Oh, my sweet boys,” I said, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay. “I love you for that, I really do, and if you need a hug, then come on over to Grandma and Grandpa’s condo and I’ll be waiting with open arms for you. Just please drive carefully.”

“We’ll be there in forty minutes,” Tanner promised, and Garrett corrected him. “Forty-five…Mom will have a fit if we speed.”

I laughed, although the sound didn’t have much humor in it. “Yes, Mom will have a fit, so watch it, bub.”

After the call ended, I got up and put a cold cloth on my eyes to try to get rid of some of the evidence of today’s crying jags. The boys didn’t need to see that.

They arrived exactly forty-five minutes later, and I resisted the urge to ask if they’d waited in the parking lot so I wouldn’t know they’d gotten here quicker than they should have.

Tanner was first through the door, and he picked me up off my feet and gave me a huge, bear hug before setting me back down.

Garrett was a little more reserved, which was odd because normally they were both very outgoing. He pulled me close and buried his face in my neck, much like he had done as a little boy, and when he let go and took a step back, he surreptitiously wiped a tear from his cheek.

My own tears had started flowing as soon as I’d opened the door, although I’d tried to hide mine, too.

They each had a backpack slung over one shoulder, and neither were dressed appropriately for the weather. Tanner had on jeans and an IU basketball sweatshirt. Garrett was in track pants, and an IU football hoodie. No coats, no gloves, no hats. I resisted the urge to scold them, especially given the fact that they’d taken such a long drive without proper clothing. I’d have to remember to ask if they at least had coats in the car. If not, I’d make them take something of my dad’s back with them.

Tanner slung his arm over my shoulder and guided me into the living room, then let go of me so he could plop down on the couch. Garrett followed and settled into the opposite end of the couch, leaving me to sit in one of the recliners.

They had questions, most of which I didn’t answer. I just repeated my excuses of “we’d hit a rough patch”, and “people change”, and “couples don’t always grow together, they grow apart.”

“Boys, I understand that you’re upset, and worried, and probably a little angry right now.”

Garrett scoffed and Tanner scowled, but neither one interrupted me. “But here’s the thing. What’s going on between your dad and me isn’t something that we should be discussing with you. It’s private, and it’s personal.”

“Mom, we know Dad fucked up,” Tanner said, and Garrett reached over and shoved his shoulder, causing Tanner to apologize. “Sorry, we know Dad screwed up. You don’t have to cover for him anymore. You’ve done that long enough, but we’re big boys. We can handle the truth.”

My mouth dropped open in shock, and Garrett sat forward and reached for my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. He looked so much like Ryan that I wanted to cry.

“Dad’s been screwing up for a while now, but we didn’t realize how bad it was until we started talking on the drive here.”

Tanner leaned forward, too, resting his forearms on his knees as he looked at me sadly. “We started comparing notes, and we realized how often he’s missed stuff, how much time he’s spent hanging out with Mitch or whatever, instead of spending time with you, and with us.”

Garrett added, “We also realized that you’ve been picking up the slack, which is probably why we didn’t notice that Dad wasn’t around much. You were always there for whatever we needed – “

“Handling shit like a boss,” Tanner interrupted with a hint of a grin.