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I suck in my breath, closing my eyes briefly before I can hear her comments. When I open them again, I see her smile.

“I’d come with you even if you didn’t ask me. The three of you are my world,” she replies, her voice cracking.

“I—I haven’t worked out any of the logistics yet, obviously I’d need to sort out Milo’s schooling and⁠—”

She waves her hand to stop me in my tracks. “Everything is going to be okay. You’ll live your life, I’ll take care of Milo and your other baby Blue. I want you to work, to experiment, to do things. You don’t have to put your whole life on pause. Not as long as I’m breathing.”

I open my mouth to reply when Hayzel comes storming back over to the table, visibly pissed.

“That man tried to talk to me for ten minutes and I almost peed myself!”

“You peed yourself??” Milo says as he too suddenly appears alongside Damien.

That makes me laugh.

He climbs in before Hayzel sits next to Edna and Damien next to me.

I miss them, even though I’m still here with them.

Don’t go to the cliff yet.

They’re celebrating.

124

Mireya

My mother’s daughter

Play - Gilded Lily by Cults

I didn’t know they’d send it there. I’d been using the campus mailboxes all year, so I thought anything from St. Ellesta would end up there. Instead I woke up to a text from my dad saying that he was home already and found my net assignment. It made me sick.

For an hour I thought about ignoring it, and never going back there. But I couldn’t do that.

Instead, I lied to Milo, promising him that we’d get some pizza tonight and that everything would be okay.

Then I left Edna’s house.

I had one night of peace. One last night after graduation before even considering seeing him again.

I know what’s waiting for me. I know how disgusting I’ll feel after this conversation, because that’s how it’s always been. There is no memory of him that doesn’t come with pain and tears. And I knew this moment would come, that he would learn about it.

By the time I reach the house, I’m already exhausted.

I stand there for a few minutes, hands resting against the door. I take a long breath, then another, as I could exhale the panic before I step inside.

Good memories. He can’t destroy good memories.

Then I opened it. He’s already yelling before I even close the door behind me.

Maybe I did fuck up by taking this opportunity. Maybe I should’ve stayed. Worked for another year or two, and left with Milo when we were ready. Perhaps it would’ve been easier, safer.

That’s when I hear his voice in my head.

You did good.

I did. I did good.