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And him. Always him. How can you look at another man like that?

Letting his hands become familiar to you, letting his voice replace mine.

You were supposed to remain exactly like I made you.

Mine to watch.

Mine to terrify.

Mine to come back to.

So, go. Smile for the photographs. Hold his hand. Let everyone believe you’ve escaped.

I’ll let you have this night. Celebrate as much as you can, Raven hair.

Because when the music stops, and the lights go out, you’ll remember something you seem to have forgotten.

You were never alone and I was never a nightmare.

121

Mireya

Play - What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish

If you’re watching

The car park is swamped with what appears to be different government body agencies and their representatives, students and their families. I also see Ms Green and other teachers talking amongst each other and excited greetings.

“What a lovely turn out!” Edna says, looking around the large building that makes St. Ellesta.

My hair blows wildly in the wind as we all walk towards the large outside hall that’s further down the field.

“I’m going to quickly find Ethan, Rey,” Hayzel says as she turns to look at me, I nod briefly and she takes off further down the hill.

“Are you nervous, sissy?” Milo asks, holding Edna’s hand as he keeps up with our pace.

“A little bit firefly,” I tell him as I grip tightly onto his other hand.

“I remember my graduation and it wasn’t as grandiose as this, back in my day, you were sent your diploma by post and were forced to get on with it,” Edna says, turning back to me.

“Federal affiliated schools don’t joke around when it comes to graduations,” I reply shrugging.

Edna and Milo quickly find their seats, and I look around searching for Hayzel.

I mumble a few hi’s and hello’s to a few students I recognize when I feel someone bump into me.

“We’re supposed to say sorr—” I yell, turning to look at where the shove came from.

“Whoopsie,” Hayzel whispers in an innocent way.

“I was looking for you, idiot,” I sigh as she slips out her camera from her pocket and I grit my teeth. “Please, not again.”

“What? One last time for the road, it's not everyday people graduate from St. Ellesta,” she replies as she pulls me into her side.

“Smile, Reya!” She mumbles and I just laugh as she takes the picture. “You know,” Hayzel continues, “I feel sorry for Ethan, his dad is never around.”

We start walking over towards the small classroom by the entrance but I don’t even know why I’m following her.