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She nods and asks, “It’s not a bad idea, they’re lacking control. Who do you want to start with?”

“Bennett.”

Ms Green reaches down to pick up her whistle. She blows into it, gaining the attention of the students. “Stop what you’re doing and gather around in a circle.”

I stand beside her as I watch them all follow the orders. “You all lack precision. This entire training is for you to adapt in difficult situations that could be nerve racking. Mr Caldwell will pick a student to show you how to control the environment you’re fighting in, instead of letting it take over you.”

I take off my glasses as my eyes meet Mireya. She’s breathing heavily, her cheeks are red and her brows furrowed. She looks beautiful like this. All worn out from fighting.

“Bennett, come on,” I say, going in the middle as he nods and walks toward me.

He gets into the circle, rolling his shoulders once, loosening his neck. He even smiles at the others watching, like this was a demonstration he’d already passed in his head.

I let him enjoy that idea for a moment. Then I turned slightly, addressing the room. “People underestimate control in stressful environments,” I say calmly. “Noise, pressure, eyes on you… none of it matters if your fundamentals are stable.”

A few of them nod, some were watching him, some were watching me. I could feel her gaze too, even if I didn’t look for it.

I turn back to him and speak, “Move. Don’t hold back.”

He doesn’t reply yet, then a short laugh appears under his breath. “I might hurt you.”

“No, I don’t think you will.”

That was enough for him to come forward. Fast, and stupidly confident, committing early, exactly what I wanted. Predictable aggression dressed as certainty. He reaches for me, and I let him think he has it, for half a second. Then I break it.

A clean entry, an angle change, some weight redirected before his grip even settles. His balance collapses and he hits the mat harder than expected. A small sound left him, sounding like he’s in pain already.

But I don't care at all, I kneel beside him as he tries to push up, and stop him with two fingers on his shoulder. Then I lean in, talking low enough that only he could hear. “That’s what happens when you try to be disrespectful in front of me.”

His breathing is uneven now, so I continue quietly, “This shit show you did earlier with Mireya, don't ever do that again. Next time you do, you won’t get back up this easily.”

He stays down for a moment longer than necessary before forcing himself upright, slower now and I stand as the students start to yell and smile.

And just like that, I was no longer in the center, back to being a professor again. As if nothing had happened. But I felt her eyes on me.

Still.

And this time, I didn’t pretend I didn’t notice.

I walk back to the rest of the students, passing by her and let my fingers softly brush hers.

“Don’t let him touch you again,” I whisper softly as I get out of here.

95

Mireya

Play - Afraid by The Neighbourhood

Choosing you anyway

Another day done here. A day filled with usual things; training, me avoiding Damien, me drowning in lies and pretending everything is okay.

But tonight I’m still here, at the same place as I love to disappear in.

Sitting at the edge of the cliff with nothing but cigarettes in my pockets and my cat. Blue purrs in my lap as I stroke the soft spot behind his ears which leaves him curling further into my body.

I take in his warmth and press a kiss to his head as the wind picks up.