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I look out the window again, trying to make sense of whatever is happening right now. “What if I don’t know how to stop?” I say.

He pauses before answering, “Then you don’t do it alone. Not with me.”

The car keeps moving and I’m still stuck in the moment where he said it. At the next light, his hand leaves the wheel for a second, finding mine. His fingers close around it gently, like he’s testing if it’s okay before claiming it as his completely.

“Tonight it’s just you and me,” he whispers. “Just memories, good ones. Even if you don’t have many right now.”

His thumb moves once over her knuckles, and I focus on its rhythm. He doesn’t let go. And I want to believe him.

For once, tonight it’s just him and I.

74

Mireya

Play - The feels by Labrinth

Crossing the line

We’re not even fully parked when the noise hits from outside. Music and laughter from somewhere I can’t see mixes with voices and mechanical sounds that rise and fall in the distance.

We get out of the car, both looking lost and it makes me laugh at how ridiculous we look next to everyone.

“You're already laughing, it's a good sign,” he says, taking my hand in his as we start walking.

I keep thinking I should feel something more defined than this. That… awareness. Of him being next to me and trying to do something to make me forget everything.

What am I even doing here?

He’s not even in his element, I know it. He’s tense and tragically beautiful in his own way. Cold but warm when he smiles at me shyly.

“You don’t have any idea about what to do now that we’re here, am I wrong?” I ask, walking beside him and smiling like an idiot.

He brushes the scar on his nose like he always does, before smiling and leaving out a long breath, “I’ll figure it out.”

He stops at the cotton candy stand and asks for two. We don’t even talk in the meantime, his hand is still on mine, his eyes fixed on the stand, and my smile slowly turns into me being confused. Him. Out of all people, him.

He’s always careful. But this is not careful at all.

“Here,” he says, grabbing them both and giving one to me.

“Thank you...”

He watches me as I tear off a tiny piece, my teeth grazing the sugar but his own stays untouched. “Is it good?” he asks.

“I love anything with sugar so yes,” I say nodding. “You have to try yours, now.”

He shakes his head, a half-smile tugging at his mouth, and I grab a small piece of his, holding it to him. His eyes catch mine just as his lips close around the tips of my fingers.

Deep blue eyes focused on my face, watching me feel him, focused on every reaction his touch pulled out of me. “It’s really good,” he murmurs. “Better than on the stick.”

I want to say something clever, insolent even, but my brain is already halfway out of my body. Everything around us feels blurred and soft, like I’m watching him through water.

“Mister Caldwell,” I whisper. “Remember when we said we can’t break the rules?”

He steps closer, enough for me to feel the smile on his lips as he leans toward me. “I remember perfectly.”

I tilt my head, meeting his gaze close enough that I can see my reflection in his eyes. A girl who never smiled much is smiling now, and somehow she looks like a stranger.