Page 32 of Her Vampire, His Ruin

“Don’t lie to me, Edie. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours.”

“You really want to know?”

“I really want to know.”

“You denied me an orgasm, and it pissed me off,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.

He cocks his head to the side. “Isn’t that what you’ve been doing to me? I thought this was our thing, teasing each other, exerting control, denying pleasure. Or have I read this completely wrong?”

“Yes… no.” I huff out a breath. “I don’t know.” I say, except I do know.

“Talk to me.”

“That’s what I’m doing, you infuriating man,” I reply, stalling, not for his sake, but for mine. I waft my hand over my face, trying and failing to cool myself down.

“Are you okay? Do you feel unwell?”

He steps closer, pressing the back of his hand against my forehead. It’s surprisingly cool, and for a moment I allow myself to lean into his touch. Then, remembering myself, I grip his wrist, removing it. “Hot flashes. Comes with the territory.”

“I’m sorry?” His brows pinch together with confusion.

“I’m forty-four.”

“And?”

“And my body has decided to go apocalyptic on me.” When he looks at me blankly, I sigh. “I’m currently residing in the Wild West that is perimenopause.”

“Ahh, I see.”

“You know what that is?”

He arches a brow. “I’m not completely ignorant.”

“Most men are,” I mutter.

“Not me. Now, getting back to our conversation. Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asks, sliding his hand beneath my hair and cupping the back of my neck, instantly cooling me. He certainly isn’t like most men, and that has me a little disoriented.

“Do you have a circulation problem or something? Your hands are so cold.” I let out a sigh, avoiding his question all together.

Of course, he doesn’t let it go. “I run a little cooler than most people. Stop avoiding my question.” He gives my neck a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

“Give me a minute, okay?” I say, forcing myself not to swoon.

Honestly, it’s a struggle to tell him how I’m feeling because I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe I allowed myself to live a life with a selfish, self-centred man who couldn’t give a fuck about me or my needs. For too long I’ve pushed what I wanted out of a relationship aside, and don’t get me started on all the times I gave Robert pleasure and never received any in return.

“Edie?”

“Okay fine. I’ve never… I haven’t ever…”

“You’ve never what, Edie?” Dorian asks, his gaze so intense I have to fight the urge to tell a lie because I’m so used to suppressing the truth. I did that the entirety of my marriage and I’m done playing it safe for fear of being rejected.

“Those weren’t tears of sadness,” I eventually say.

“Then what caused them?”

“Frustration more than anything, that and hormones, or lack thereof.”

“Frustration?”